Most Interesting Man in the World Disputes Ten Years of Parking Fees

PUEBLO, Colo. — The Most Interesting Man in the World, who was brought back from a ten-tear exile on Mars by Dos Equis in January, has since become entangled in a crop-damage dispute and an unresolved question concerning ten years of parking fees.
The bearded, globe-trotting spokesman, portrayed by actor Jonathan Goldsmith, was retrieved after company executives determined that a decade of interplanetary exile had failed to improve Dos Equis competitive position.
His capsule came down at 4:12 a.m. in a sorghum field off a country road outside Pueblo, leaving a depression the size of a two-car garage.
“He climbed out, brushed off his jacket, and asked where the nearest bar was,” said landowner Roy Ahlquist, 71, a sorghum farmer who has driven the same Ford F-250 since the second Clinton administration and refers to it only as “the Ford.”
“I told him Rye, about forty minutes. He said he had waited ten years, he could wait forty minutes more.”
When Dos Equis brought The Most Interesting Man in the World back from Mars, they reported he had somehow become the Least Interesting Man in the world, spending his days ironing dress socks and building ships in bottles.
Dos Equis attributed their spokesman’s loss of personality to a head injury that caused temporary amnesia.
Company officials maintain that his memory was restored after he had consumed a bottle of Dos Equis during television rehearsals.
The January relaunch returned the Most Interesting Man to television, but his social reintegration has proceeded less smoothly.
Farmer Ahlquist has filed a $2,300 crop-damage claim. He has also asked who will fill in the hole in his field. A spokesman for Dos Equis declined to comment.
Meanwhile, the charter company has yet to determine whether the Most Interesting Man owes ten years of long-term parking at the original launch site. A preliminary invoice places the amount at $46,720, excluding taxes and shuttle service.
The Most Interesting Man has disputed the charges, arguing that he never parked a vehicle there. The company has requested documentation.
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