Wednesday, June 12, 2024
Sporting Life

NBA To Offer Autistic-Only Bathrooms for 2017 All-Star Game

an image

NEW YORK—The National Basketball Association (NBA), bowing to pressure from the radical autism-rights group Autism Speaks (AS), has promised to install “a prorated number” of autism-friendly restrooms at next year’s all star game, “no matter where it’s ultimately played.” The league is already under pressure from LGBTQWERTY groups, who want the game moved from Charlotte, North Carolina, because that state recently passed a bill requiring men to pee in “The Gents” and women to pee in “The Ladies.”

According to an AS official, autism is spreading through the general population faster than an overflowing toilet. “Ten years ago, autism’s estimated prevalence was 1 in 166. Today it’s 1 in 68—an increase of more than 100 percent in one decade.”

(Stay tuned for additional coverage of this late-breaking news.)    

© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren’t looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.