Neighborhood Dog Catches Car, Has No Idea What to Do Next

A neighborhood dog catches car, then realizes there was a flaw in his business model.

Baxter, the neighborhood Lab-mix, lives to chase cars. Every morning, every afternoon, every time tires roll down the street, he is off like a furry missile.

The routine is simple. Spot car. Bark furiously. Give chase. Repeat. Nobody, including the dog, ever questioned what would happen if he actually caught one. Then, on an otherwise ordinary Tuesday, he finally did.

A sedan slowed for a speed bump. Baxter sprinted, lunged, and finally realized his lifelong goal. He stood triumphantly in front of the car, tail high, chest out, basking in the glory of victory.

Then came an  uncomfortable silence and a baffled expression. What now?

Baxter stared at the car. The car stared back. He realized he had no grand plan, no next step, no operational roadmap. Just years of effort culminating in a moment that exposed a difficult truth: the mission had never been thought through.

Witnesses reported visible confusion. “He looked happy for about three seconds,” one neighbor said. “Then it seemed like he realized he had no idea what to do next.”

At last Baxter cautiously approached the sedan’s front bumper, sniffed it twice, then walked around to the left rear tire and urinated on it.

Observers viewed this as an attempt to redefine the original objective after the fact.

“He seemed relieved,” the neighbor said. “Once he marked the tire, he could pretend that was what he had been trying to accomplish all along.”

The driver waited another few seconds, then pulled away. Baxter chased the car for half a block but failed to catch it.

At the end of the day, Baxter was back in his usual position by the curb, once again barking at passing vehicles. He had learned nothing.

That is probably for the best. Some institutions are too established to fail.

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