postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Religion

Sylvester Stallone Says God Wrote Rocky

philmaggitti 474 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Rocky Balboa climbing off the canvas. Jesus Christ climbing out of the tomb. Mere similarities with no causal connection? Not according to Sylvester Stallone, who told Christian leaders in a conference call yesterday that the six movies in the Rocky series are “the inspired word of God.” “Rocky is Jesus, fighting the devil, who Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Vows to Return Worst Dog Owner Award

philmaggitti 447 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – An agitated Britney Spears told reporters she had not “dramatized” her dogs by having sex in front of them, and she “did-dint” deserve to be voted World’s Worst Celebrity Dog Owner of 2006. What’s more, she vowed, “when that doggone thing arrives, I’m sending it back.” The embattled one-time singer, who banished her Read More

News

Mel Gibson Apologizes to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over Holocaust Slight

Biff Scuzzy 444 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Mel Gibson has apologized to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad for failing to attend Review of the Holocaust: Global Vision, the scholarly conference that “reexamines” long-established facts about the Holocaust. The high-profile conference, hosted by President Ahmadinejad in Tehran this week, drew sixty-one participants from thirty-seven countries. A high-placed source at the conference has Read More

Celebrities

Ben Affleck Quits Acting to Save Daughter

philmaggitti 452 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Ben Affleck has vowed to give up acting for the sake of his one-year-old daughter, Violet. The star of Hollywoodland made the decision despite having been nominated for his first Golden Globe award, because “she’s going to have my last name and I don’t want her to mutter it over a drink. I want Read More

Celebrities

Nancy Grace Sues Tweety Bird

Biff Scuzzy 485 Views 2 min read

ATLANTA, Ga. – Television talk show lawyer Nancy Grace has filed a $300-million lawsuit against cartoon figure Tweety Bird. Citing extreme mental anguish, “worse even than when my old boyfriend got whacked,” Ms. Grace vowed “to wipe that bird off the face of the earth so that people will finally stop saying I look like Read More

News

Bush Twins Sued by RIAA for Illegal Downloading

Biff Scuzzy 430 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – In a bold and unprecedented move the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) has filed a $22.5-million lawsuit against Jenna and Barbara Bush. The Bush twins, 25, are accused of downloading more than twenty thousand music files illegally from the popular file-sharing site Shareaza. “We filed this suit to show music pirates Read More

Celebrities

Lindsay Lohan Accused of Plagiarism

Chip Hilton 420 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Lindsay Lohan has been accused of plagiarism by an eighth grade student in Omaha, Nebraska. The student, Shelly Atwater, is a member of Miss Leopold’s homeroom at John Glenn Middle School. Ms. Atwater claims that parts of her essay on educational values, which was posted on Myspace.com on November 27 as part of Read More

Celebrities

Wesley Snipes Launches Tax Advice Website

philmaggitti 421 Views 2 min read

OCALA, Fla. – Wesley Snipes talked briefly with reporters yesterday after leaving the courthouse where he had just pleaded not guilty to eight counts of federal income tax fraud. The star of Jungle Fever and other films said that he was so certain of prevailing “in the face of these racially motivated charges” that he was launching Read More

Music

Imagine John Lennon

philmaggitti 467 Views 0 min read

Imagine there’s no Heaven; it’s easy if you try; no hell below us; above us only sky. Imagine all the people living for today. Imagine there’s no countries; it isn’t hard to do; nothing to kill or die for and no religion too. Imagine all the people living life in peace. You may say that Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Could Lose Custody Fight

philmaggitti 426 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears may soon have the Los Angeles Department of Animal Welfare (DAW) up her recently covered butt. Sources tell our sister publication, Them Weekly, that a case worker from DAW has been trying to contact Ms. Spears since she told her husband Kevin Federline to piss off a month ago. “The Read More

Celebrities

Jennifer Aniston, Vince Vaughn Star in Break-Up 3

philmaggitti 429 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, who would not exist if we hadn’t needed to make them up, have announced to a largely indifferent world the end of their romantic involvement—for the third damn time. At this point like who gives a shit? What free-thinking, self-respecting person cares whether this undynamic duo Read More