Feline Horoscopes: The Litter Box of Destiny
Hark. The heavens have shifted and the universe has finally decided to speak through creatures that actually matter. Thus, these feline horoscopes. Do not come… Read More
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
Stop looking for meaning in the clouds and start looking for it in the litter box, where your life and this forecast currently reside.
Hark. The heavens have shifted and the universe has finally decided to speak through creatures that actually matter. Thus, these feline horoscopes. Do not come… Read More
Today we observe Algorithm Anxiety Day, the mother of all modern holidays. This is the day each year when we acknowledge the cold, indisputable truth:… Read More
The stars have gathered in a defensive crouch. They whisper that Preparation Day arrives like a government audit crossed with an existential exit interview. You… Read More
It is an inescapable truth of polite society that one’s time is often held hostage by the unchecked enthusiasm of the excessively verbose. This self-defense… Read More
The cosmic outlook is not good. Indeed, in today’s 911 horoscopes the planetary alignments suggest a pervasive sense of digital dread and a spike in… Read More
There are those rare sages who, in a moment of digital restraint, choose the conservative “Save Draft” button instead of the seductive and more satisfying… Read More
Having exhausted the meager predictive capabilities of birds, we descend today to the slobbery realm of canines. They provide a forecast just as scornful of… Read More
Finally, a horoscope that tells you exactly how disappointing you are. A forecast that’s utterly useless yet dressed in the flimsy pretense of cosmic wisdom—a… Read More