Book of Daze: Artificial Nostalgia Day
Today you celebrate the memories you never had but feel guilty about forgetting. Artificial nostalgia day honors the ache for a past that never happened,… Read More
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
Today you celebrate the memories you never had but feel guilty about forgetting. Artificial nostalgia day honors the ache for a past that never happened,… Read More
If you are not using your own tongue to achieve a streak-free shine while a leaf blower propels a swarm of angry bees through your library, you simply do not care about hygiene.
Are you still using a sponge to clean your house like a peasant from a Third World country? Unless you fancy a place that smells… Read More
BISON CHRONICLE, Yellowstone National Park – It is with a sense of… well, a sense of something… that we announce the untimely departure of Brittany… Read More
♈ Aries (March 21–April 19) The planets have exposed the fact that you are a loudmouthed victim of your own hubris. You said, “We could… Read More
Keith Richards is eighty-two years old today. At this point, Keef is not just an old, haggard human being; he is a biological glitch, a… Read More
Your search history is the star witness in the trial of your life, and honey, the jury thinks you are absolutely pathetic.
Your search history is not just a digital trail of your fleeting curiosities. It is a roadmap to your eventual incarceration. When the prosecutor stands… Read More
Returning Christmas presents is a time-honored tradition. Legend has it that the very first returned gift was frankincense, deemed “too fragrant” by the recipient who… Read More
A sentient golden toilet that later staged its own heist to escape the "trickle-down" rot of British nobility.
I, The Duke of Marlborough’s golden toilet, was born in a furnace at 1,948 degrees Fahrenheit, then forged into a literal gleaming throne of excess,… Read More