postcards from the pug bus – Page 54 – lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

Jude Law Miffed at Being Offered Smaller Parts

philmaggitti 451 Views 2 min read

LONDON – Sex rat Jude Law is upset because studios have been offering him smaller and smaller parts ever since he was photographed in the nude by a paparazzo last summer at his mother’s villa in France. A photo of Law changing into swim trunks on what must have been an unseasonably cold August day Read More

Celebrities

Jessica Simpson Disappointed by Therapy

Chip Hilton 456 Views 2 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Jessica Simpson told Psychology Today that she was extremely disappointed by her recent experience with therapy. The singer-actress claimed that relentless gossip about her marriage to Nick Lachey drove her to visit a therapist to find out if the rumors were true. “But all’s he did was ask me a lot of questions, how I Read More

Politics

Alito Supreme Court Nomination Assailed by Democrats

philmaggitti 461 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Massachusetts Senator Ted Kennedy led the chorus of Democratic voices howling in opposition to President Bush’s nomination of Judge Samuel A. Alito Jr. to the Supreme Court. Speaking to reporters in his office yesterday afternoon, Kennedy said, “This guy (Alito) is such a political Neanderthal he drags his knuckles on the ground Read More

Sporting Life

Kobe Bryant Bobblehead Doll Accused of Rape

philmaggitti 432 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – West Chester police announced yesterday that they were seeking the newly minted Kobe Bryant bobblehead doll for questioning in connection with the alleged rape of a Los Angeles Lakers cheerleader doll that occurred in the drafting room of the Apollo Bobblehead Doll Company. “It’s too early to say whether the Kobe Read More

Celebrities

Angelina Jolie Wants to Adopt Basenji Next

Chip Hilton 441 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Adoptive mother Angelina Jolie paid a surprise visit to the ASPCA shelter yesterday. She was there, she told shelter employees, because she wanted to adopt a basenji, an African breed noted for its intelligence. Unfortunately, the shelter did not have any basenjis available. Nevertheless Ms. Jolie spent three hours being fingerprinted, answering Read More

Music

OutKast to Perform at Rosa Parks Tribute

Biff Scuzzy 441 Views 2 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Hip-hop stars OutKast, who made Rosa Parks a household name, will perform at a tribute in her honor to be held tomorrow night at The John F. Kennedy Center for the Performing Arts. Parks, a retired seamstress and homemaker, died Monday October 24 in Detroit. She was 92. Other celebrities scheduled to Read More

Music

Starbucks to Give Away Rolling Stones Album

philmaggitti 483 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The Rolling Stones will release a compilation of “rare” tracks next month in partnership with the Starbucks Corporation and the group’s Virgin Records label. The album, entitled “Tall, Grande, Venti: Reheated Cups 1971-2003,” will debut on November 22 in Starbucks coffee shops, traditional music stores, and a temporary tongue-shaped kiosk in Read More

Music

Rolling Stones to Write Soundtrack for Rocky VI

philmaggitti 472 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Sylvester Stallone announced yesterday that the Rolling Stones have agreed to write the soundtrack for Rocky VI, whose working title is Rocky Balboa: The Beating Goes On. Sipping a Metamucil-carrot juice cocktail at a local health food store, Stallone, 60, told Postcards from the Pug Bus that he was looking forward to working with Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Waging War Against Satire

philmaggitti 460 Views 5 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Not satisfied to convert the world to Scientology one actress at a time—or “to take down the abomination that is psychiatry”—Tom Cruise has launched a war of the words against satire. Unfortunately for Chip Hilton, one of the most highly respected albeit psychologically fragile satirists writing today, Mr. Cruise elected to Read More

News

New Orleans Prostitutes Displaced by Katrina Find New Homes

philmaggitti 447 Views 3 min read

TIMONIUM, Md. – One of the most inspiring stories to emerge from the national flood of sympathy for the victims of Hurricane Katrina is the manner in which New Orleans’ prostitutes have been welcomed with open arms in cities across the United States. Like most of Katrina’s victims, New Orleans’ working girls lost not only Read More

Politics

President Bush Vows to Rebuild New Orleans in Iraq

philmaggitti 490 Views 2 min read

THE FRENCH QUARTER – Speaking from the courtyard of a sports bar in New Orleans’ historic French Quarter, President George W. Bush declared that rebuilding the hurricane ravaged city was “job one” for the American people. “This is where the fight against Nature’s terrorism begins anew,” said Bush. “If we don’t want to face the Read More

Celebrities

Heather Mills McCartney Hopping Mad at Jennifer Lopez

philmaggitti 450 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Heather Mills McCartney, estranged wife of former Beatle and corporate tool Paul McCartney, was hopping mad following a violent confrontation with Jennifer Lopez’ security personnel at Lopez’ New York office Tuesday. The incident, which left Mills McCartney busier than a one-legged animal rights activist in a butt-kicking contest, began when Mills McCartney, Read More

News

Obestatin Found Lacking in Wal-Mart Shoppers

Biff Scuzzy 394 Views 2 min read

PALO ALTO, Calif. – Scientists at Stanford University have discovered that two out of three Wal-Mart shoppers are deficient in obestatin, the so-called appetite-suppressing or obesity hormone that acts like a biological brake for another hormone that sparks hunger. Coincidentally the hunger-sparking hormone, gorgestatin, was found to be present in abnormal amounts in the same Read More

Music

Paul McCartney Releases Fidelity Investment CD

philmaggitti 435 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Apparently persuaded that money can buy him love, former Beatle Paul McCartney has released “Penny Stocks,” an album he recorded at London’s historic Abbey Road Studio for the newly created Fidelity Investments label. Earlier this year McCartney, 63, signed a lucrative ten-figure contract with Fidelity that will guarantee him financial security for Read More

Culture

Rolling Stone to Publish Thompson Suicide Note

philmaggitti 437 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Rolling Stone magazine has finally acknowledged what Postcards from the Pug Bus told its readers nearly seven months ago: the music-and-fashion magazine, in conjunction with St. Martin’s Press, will publish the rambling, often profane, 352-page suicide note left behind by Hunter S. Thompson after he had blown his brains on February 20. According to Rolling Read More