postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Celebrities

Brad Pitt Writing Divorce Guide

Chip Hilton 446 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Brad Pitt, who suggests that the best way for men on the verge of divorce to maintain their privacy is by moving to a different hotel every few days, was in New York briefly over the weekend to announce that he is writing a self-help book for men. Tentatively entitled “Break It Read More

Religion

Koran Story Creates Status Symbol in Hollywood

philmaggitti 484 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – The international furor created by Newsweek‘s bogus story about the desecration of the Koran by US interpreters in Guantanamo Bay has made the Muslims’ sacred text an overnight status symbol in Hollywood. Celebrities who carried Chihuahuas into chic restaurants yesterday now show up with slightly worn copies of the Koran wrapped in protective Read More

Culture

Condoleezza Rice Entertains Troops In Iraq

Biff Scuzzy 437 Views 2 min read

BAGHDAD – Condoleezza Rice paid a surprise visit to Iraq today to entertain American troops there, unveiling a seldom-seen dimension of her personality—a kick-ass talent for singing and dancing. Rice took the stage in an impromptu “arena” set up in the heavily guarded “green zone” of Baghdad and proceeded to rock the house for the Read More

Celebrities

Mena Suvari Seeks Separation from Mira Sorvino

philmaggitti 458 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – “American Beauty” star Mena Suvari has filed for a legal separation from “Mighty Aphrodite” star and Oscar-winning actress Mira Sorvino, hoping to end what Suvari describes as “six years of confusion, uncertainty, and identity crisis” brought on by the annoying similarity between their names. In what promises to be a long and Read More

Culture

American Idol Judge Paula Abdul Has Rare Condition

philmaggitti 465 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – For the last twenty-five years American Idol judge and former entertainer Paula Abdul has valiantly struggled against a rare, difficult-to-diagnose condition that has caused her extreme mental, physical, and emotional turmoil. Abdul told a US Weekly reporter that she has chosen “this moment in time” to talk about the condition not because she wants Read More

Culture

Pug Bus Site Down but Not Because of Hack

philmaggitti 457 Views 3 min read

(From the AP wire) WEST CHESTER, PA—Widely popular Internet satire site Postcards from the Pug Bus was stuck in an off-line ditch for five-and-a-half hours on Tuesday May 10. Although bloggers and The New York Times website initially reported that Pug Bus was offline because it had been hacked—either by outraged Rolling Stones fans or the Christian Read More

Culture

Zellweger Chesney Wedding a Longshot in Las Vegas

philmaggitti 464 Views 3 min read

LAS VEGAS – According to oddsmakers here, the over-under figure for the Renee Zellweger-Kenny Chesney marriage is eight months, and most of the early money has been wagered on the under. Vegas actuaries who determine the odds for celebrity marriages say that a number of reasons account for those trends. “This one’s got virtually no Read More

Celebrities

Russell Crowe a Real Stinker in Cinderella Man

Chip Hilton 470 Views 5 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Russell Crowe’s co-stars in the boxing movie “Cinderella Man” say the stench emitted by the actor was a major distraction during filming. Crowe, who plays heavyweight boxer Jim Braddock, went days without showering in order to recreate the essence of the man he was portraying. “Russell smelled like the inside of Read More

Culture

Runaway Bride Toast Is Missing

philmaggitti 479 Views 3 min read

STILLWATER, N.J. – The celebrated piece of toast with a carved likeness of runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks on it has gone missing. Perry Lonzello, 48, of Stillwater, N.J., who drew the startling image of Wilbanks onto a slice of toasted Wonder Bread two weeks ago, placed a frantic call to 911 late last night. “She’s Read More

Music

Rolling Stones Announce Tour of Museums

philmaggitti 449 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – The Rolling Stones are expected to announce at a press conference tomorrow that guitarist Ron Wood’s paintings will hit the road again late this summer. The press conference, scheduled to begin at 12:30 p.m. at the Museum of Modern Art, has been the source of much speculation among the rock art press. Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Pregnancy Test Update

Chip Hilton 456 Views 2 min read

OTTAWA – The infamous Britney Spears pregnancy test, on which she received a disappointing 6.7 for execution and a mere 7.5 for degree of difficulty, may be a fraud, says Canadian Surgeon General Gordon McCullough. Speaking last night on Canada’s popular news program The Mountie Hour, McCullough told the show’s host, Gordon McClainne, that dipsticks floating Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Board Game Hits Stores Tuesday

Chip Hilton 485 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – The adventures of Britney Spears have inspired a new board game called Britopoly. Created by Parker Brothers, Britopoly is designed for four players, but as many as eight can play if the additional players slept in a bed with at least two of their siblings until the age of fourteen. Britopoly comes Read More

Celebrities

Paris Hilton Planning Car Wash Chain

Chip Hilton 519 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Buoyed by the warp-speed acceleration of her provocative “baby, let me soap up your Bentley” commercial for Carl’s Jr burgers, pop icon Paris Hilton is expected to announce at a press conference today that she will open a chain of membership-only car washes throughout North America. Hilton’s latest (ad)venture was inspired by Read More