Condescending Horoscopes for August 15, 2025
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Your future just texted me in all caps: “WHO LET ARIES DRIVE?” A mysterious gust of wind will lift… Read More
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
Aries (March 21 – April 19) Your future just texted me in all caps: “WHO LET ARIES DRIVE?” A mysterious gust of wind will lift… Read More
There was a time when web pages took thirty seconds to load, the average download took three hours–while you prayed that it didn’t get interrupted–and… Read More
Harold, 82, vapes THCa in a motel off Route 15. His wife’s walking the dog. The smoke alarm doesn’t react to vapes. Sweet. Still loves… Read More
On Book of Daze Clean One Corner of the Room and Feel Accomplished Day, we celebrate the illusion of productivity through targeted micro-cleaning. Whether it’s… Read More
(ðŸŽYou are the ideological piñata suspended between performative outrage and performative virtue. One wants to burn the cathedral. The other wants to roast marshmallows in… Read More
In the event that you were raised in a Newtonian universe, Plus 1 Alternatives is not a euphemism for outsized, it is a euphemism for… Read More
At karaoke night, Jim tried to show off with an operatic high note. Suddenly, his uvula staged a furious one-man protest, flapping like a drunken… Read More
“The cursed phenomenon of the earworm–the musical parasite that burrows into your brain and sets up shop without paying rent. It’s the mind’s version of… Read More