Satan Lays Off Hundreds of Demons as Social Media Makes Temptation Unnecessary

Satan has laid off six hundred demons after an internal review found that social media users were exceeding Hell’s monthly target for malice, vanity, envy, and spite before getting out of bed.

“We used to spend years persuading someone to destroy a friendship,” said one Senior Fiend who worked exclusively with church committees. “Now they’ll do it over a photograph of lunch.”

Ironically, the out of work demons formed a Facebook group called Idle Hands to coordinate their response to being made redundant. Within days, members had accused one another of poor work ethics, had circulated private messages, and threatened several families.

Satan withdrew their severance packages, citing this behavior as evidence they were still working.

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