Trump Win Puts Neo-Nazi German Villages on Tourism Map

As though to acknowledge that fashion is indeed the universal language, Globus® and other purveyors of European package tours have added Wibbese, Jamal, and half a dozen other picturesque, rural German villages to their spring itineraries. The move, says Globus® marketing director Earl Witherspoon, is our way of saying that fashion trumps ideology in the tourist business.”

Previously, Wibbese and Jamal had been excluded from Globus® tours because the large contingent of Hitler-worshipping residents in these villages rocked traditional skinhead clothing: oh-so-menacing jack boots, with their unmistakable rip-off-your-head-and-tinkle-down-your-throat message, and anything by British sporting togs company Lonsdale, whose consecutive letters n, s, d, a are the initials of the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei—better known as Nazis.

The economic realities of rural life, however, dictate that in order to prosper villages must attract tourists and school groups. As a nod to this reality, neo-Nazis in rural areas now sport quaint, nonthreatening clogs. What’s more, lederhosen are “in” while industrial-strength denim jeans are “out.” Chains, which are so twentieth century, have given way to hand-crafted leather lanyards; carefully styled and gelled hair has replaced the rabid-bald-eagle look (and covered a multitude of offensive skull tattoos), and skinheads would now prefer to be called “nationalist settlers,” thank you.

They also prefer homespun occupations. Instead of their previous choices—rolling homosexuals, setting fire to synagogues, and urinating in public—nationalist settlers work as organic farmers, midwives, baristas, and craftsmen. What’s more, they seek local positions of power as counselors, volunteer firemen, teachers, and festival organizers.

“You won’t see people (in these villages) wearing Nazi helmets while riding their motorbikes anymore,” said Globus® marketing director Witherspoon, “and tattoos of imperial eagles have been covered over by long sleeved shirts and other means.”

As for the pagan festivals around bonfires, featuring songs banned since the fall of the Third Reich, isn’t bigotry really just skin deep? Dress those same villagers in gingerbread and knee socks…you could swear they were singing “Oh, Tannenbaum.”

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