Zoellick at World Bank Is Not Just Another Pretty Face

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Robert Zoellick, whom President Bush has nominated to head the World Bank, was chosen largely because “he is not just another pretty face,” said a White House source yesterday.

According to the source, President Bush “learned his lesson the hard way” after Paul Wolfowitz had made one too many unauthorized deposits in the secretarial pool at the bank.

“The president was determined not to nominate another pretty boy this time,” said columnist Bob Novak, “and I’d say he succeeded admirably. One look at Bob Zoellick tells you that he’s worked for everything he’s achieved.”

Indeed, Mr. Zoellick’s singular appearance made him the face of Rise of the Vulcans, James Mann’s portrait of the foreign policy advisors who had George W. Bush’s ear before he became president.

“By all accounts, Bob Zoellick was the most Vulcan-like member of that group,” said Mr. Novak.

In addition to Mr. Zoellick’s “off-putting appearance and creepy Bob Dylan style mustache,” wrote Mr. Novak, “his chief qualification for the World Bank post would appear to be the fact that his wife does not work at the bank.”

In other news, authorities in Texas say they are still not close to determining the “order of death” in the apparent murder-suicide hangings that claimed the lives of a mother and two of her three young children yesterday