May 2006 – Page 2 – postcards from the pug bus

Britney Spears Answers Pregnancy Rumors on Letterman Show

Chip Hilton 217 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Britney Spears paid a surprise visit to yesterday’s taping of the “Late Show with David Letterman” in New York to deny rumors that she is bearing Mr. Letterman’s child. A spokesman for … Read on

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Britney Spears, Courtney Love Top Stretch Marks Poll

Biff Scuzzy 266 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Britney Spears and Courtney Love finished in a virtual dead heat in the Postcards from the Pug Bus First Annual Stretch Marks Poll. After studying the skanky photo on the left, … Read on

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Backlash Queers Mission Impossible 3 Debut

Chip Hilton 241 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – A Tom Cruise backlash appears to have queered the box office for Mr. Cruise’ latest film Mission Impossible 3, which failed to measure up to expectations last weekend. MI3 earned roughly $48 … Read on

Celebrities

Jennifer Lopez Introduces Combination Grill and Small Animal Crematorium

philmaggitti 217 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Jennifer Lopez, whom People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals has attempted to make the butt of its anti-fur campaign, responded by announcing the intro-
duction of the Jennifer Lopez Combination Grill and … Read on

Celebrities

Britney Spears Has Husband Kevin Federline Microchipped

Chip Hilton 228 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Britney Spears has fitted her husband Kevin Federline with a microchip, hoping to accomplish with technology what she couldn’t accomplish with sex, automobiles, or childbirth. The device—a transponder, actually—was implanted between Mr. Federline’s … Read on

News

Osama bin Laden Strategy for Coping with Rising Gasoline Prices

Biff Scuzzy 236 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Citing rising gasoline prices as the “greatest threat to our mission in the United States,” Osama bin Laden advised Al-Qaida members at work in America to walk or to ride bicycles when … Read on

Celebrities

Will Britney Spears’ Press Conference Include K-Fed?

Chip Hilton 227 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Britney Spears will hold a press conference at the Los Angeles Convention Center today. Barring the capture of Osama bin Laden, the premature birth of Angelina Jolie’s baby, or the discovery of … Read on

Celebrities

Keith Richards and Kaavya Viswanathan Will File Lawsuits

Chip Hilton 226 Views 3 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards and Harvard sophomore Kaavya Viswanathan will turn to the courts to seek redress for their current misfortunes, The Wall Street Journal reported this morning.

Mr. Richards … Read on

Culture

United 93 Audience Rushes Screen

Biff Scuzzy 215 Views 2 min read

MORGANTOWN, Penna. – Moviegoers at the Tri-County Multiplex rushed the screen during the 7:20 showing of United 93 Saturday night, shouting “let’s roll” and “death to all towel heads.”

While most of the audience sat … Read on