San Francisco to Host Young Trannies Beauty Pageant
SAN FRANCISCO—On Valentine’s Day the Bay Area Gender Benders will host the first annual JonBenét Ramsey Young Trannies Beauty Pageant.
ContinueMonth: December 2016
Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy
NEW YORK—President-elect Donald Trump said yesterday that he wants to see English become the official language in all fifty states.
ContinueFacebook Presents the Twelve Genders of Christmas
WEST CHESTER, PA—Facebook is a festering boil on the right butt cheek of humanity, largely because Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg
ContinueMichael Moore Urges Simultaneous Toilet Flush on Inauguration Day
FLINT, MI—In his ongoing quest to delegitimize Donald Trump’s presidency, Michael Moore is now urging Americans to flush their toilets
ContinueTrump Appoints Grammar Prick to New Cabinet Post
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President-elect Donald J. Trump has appointed the Grammar Prick to the newly created cabinet post of Secretary of Grammar
ContinueBlack Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars
NEW YORK—D’Aryll Scott-Jones, HMFIC of Black Lives Matter, called for immediate boycotts yesterday of all websites “that allow white supremacists
ContinueBarack Obama’s “Other” Half Is a White Nationalist
WEST CHESTER, PA—Barack Hussein Obama, America’s putative first black president, is a man who knows how to sell a contradiction;
ContinueAlt-right Website Explains Difference Between Nazi and Roman Salutes
Dear Friedrich,I was on my way to a cell meeting the other day when I met a friend on the
ContinueKeith Richards Picks Donald Trump in Electoral College Vote
NEW YORK—Rolling Stones poltergeist and guitarist Keith Richards, 73, celebrated his birthday today by announcing his support for Donald J.
ContinueGod Says He Never Saw This Election Coming
The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy
ContinueGay Rights Group Slams Half-Time Engagement
CHICAGO—Born That Way, a militant, self-described “queer rights” group, condemned the recent engagement of two fellows named Michael and Jake
ContinueBLM Threatens to Disrupt Giants-Lions Game This Sunday
NEW YORK—Black Lives Matter (BLM) has demanded that New York Giants quarterback Eli Manning apologize to Dallas Cowboys black quarterback
ContinueAlt-right Satire Site Wants Photos of Naked Progressives
WEST CHESTER, PA—Thirty-six years ago today my favorite progressive was murdered. John Winston Lennon was the kind of person who
ContinueWikiLeaks Reveals Identity of Time’s Person of the Year
NEW YORK—Fresh off its revelation of the Democrats’ blueprint for attacking Jeff Sessions—Donald Trump’s choice for attorney general—WikiLeaks revealed this
ContinueHuff Post Scribbler Get Asshat Award for Setting New Lows in Virtue Signaling
Huffington Post scribbler Cole Delbyck has got himself an ass hat for vowing never to watch Last Tango in Paris
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