Johnny Depp to Read at Hunter S. Thompson Memorial

ASPEN, Colo. — Johnny Depp will read previously unpublished, late-life writings from Hunter S. Thompson at an invitation-only memorial event this summer. Depp will also fund a 150-foot ceremonial tower from which Thompson’s ashes will be launched in grand, cinematic fashion at a private August 20 gathering on the author’s Woody Creek property. Depp and Thompson developed a close friendship following Depp’s portrayal of Thompson in the film adaptation of Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas.

According to publishing sources, the late writer left behind a sprawling, chaotic manuscript that mixes autobiography, cultural commentary, and volcanic diary-style tirades. The project was originally targeted for release in March, but legal counsel reportedly requested additional time to review passages that might otherwise ignite diplomatic, entertainment-industry, or carrier-pigeon-related fallout.

Early readers describe a document that alternates between grief, nostalgia, media exhaustion, and the barbed, high-octane sarcasm that made Thompson famous. One recurring thread suggests he became increasingly irritated after his private contact information circulated online, triggering waves of late-night calls from curious strangers, long-lost acquaintances, and fans requesting writing advice, life advice, cocktail recipes, or combinations thereof.

Another passage reportedly references an ill-fated sports wager between Thompson and a well-known broadcast personality, after which Thompson accused himself — with trademark hyperbole — of “showing the strategic discipline of a man betting the national debt on a coin-operated fortune-telling machine.”

Industry insiders say the manuscript contains fusillades directed at politicians, entertainers, journalists, past employers, future enemies, and possibly decorative garden statuary. Even long-time collaborator and publishing magnate Jann Wenner, who secured the rights to the manuscript years ago, is said to be roasted hard enough “to qualify as a limited-edition artisanal brisket.”

Depp is scheduled to read selected excerpts — tone subject to change by weather, audience humidity, and universal karmic alignment — before activating an electronic ignition system that will launch Thompson’s ashes skyward via ceremonial cannon mounted atop the tower. Event producer Jon Equis confirmed that the structure will emulate the iconic ‘gonzo fist’ emblem and will include appropriate safety signage, mystical lighting, and the kind of engineering normally reserved for theme parks and ambitious county fairs.

In other news, a major sports network has reportedly secured exclusive film rights to the memorial, which sources say may air in a special-event format featuring solemn narration, slow-motion powder dispersal, and interviews with people who once shared barstools, deadlines, or portable typewriter ribbons with the late author.