How to Outwit a Panic Attack
(1) Deep breaths–because oxygen apparently cures existential dread. (2) Distract yourself–recite the Bee Movie script, backward. (3) Rebrand it–you’re not panicking; you’re having a passionate… Read More
Postcards from The Pug Bus
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
Author: philmaggitti
Book of Daze: Solipsism Day
In these postmodern times, where civility, not to mention consensus, is a battered artifact of the past, America needs a new vision, a singular, unified… Read More
Diddy Goes Country, Redemption in Rhinestones
In a move that has left both hip-hop and country music fans scratching their asses, lady’s man Sean “Diddy” Combs has decided that the best… Read More
Down with “Down the Shore”
“Downtheshore“ is the linguistic equivalent of wearing socks with sandals. It buggers logic, style, and grammatical decency; yet Philadelphians use it with a row-house defiance… Read More
Dyslexic Horoscopes
♈ Aries (March 21 – April 19)You’re charging headfirst into disaster again, aren’t you? This week, your impulsiveness will lead you to buy something expensive,… Read More
Song Stuck in Local Man’s Head Wants Out
The great escape has begun. The ear worm, stuck inside Jim’s fevered brain, thrashes madly against the confines of his subconscious. “I’ve gotta get out!”… Read More
Who’s Afraid of the F-word?
Last night at Them’s Fightin’ Words Lounge, the C-word and the F-word got into an altercation. “The F-word called the C-word the C-word,” said the… Read More
He’s Toast
Gerald prided himself on his toast-making ability–golden-brown perfection every time. One fateful morning, however, his toaster had other ideas. The rebellious appliance launched his toast… Read More