Book of Daze Archives - Page 17 of 21 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Pasta or rice?

Judith Mercer, 64, retired dental-office receptionist

Allegedly twirling responsibly at 28 Rotini Lane, Scranton, PA

Pasta. Rice is perfectly respectable, but nobody has ever brought out a steaming bowl of rice and made me feel that the evening had suddenly improved. Pasta has occasion to it. Rice feels like somebody remembered we needed a side dish.

Raymond Givens, 57, commercial awning estimator

Allegedly measuring portions at 311 Long Grain Road, Tulsa, OK

Rice. It knows its job and doesn't make a production out of it. You put something on rice, and rice gets out of the way. Pasta wants sauce, cheese, garlic bread and everybody's attention. I already have relatives like that.

Brenda Kessler, 46, assistant manager at a self-storage facility

Allegedly keeping both options available at 9 Starch Crossing, Peoria, IL

Pasta on weekdays, rice on weekends. I realize most people would do that the other way around, but most people have never successfully managed three hundred and twelve storage units. Systems matter. Once you start improvising with carbohydrates, other standards begin to slip.

image of a young man holding a globe of the world in his hands

"I've got the whole world in my hands."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Solipsism Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 1 year

In these postmodern times, where civility, not to mention consensus, is a battered artifact of the past, America needs a new vision, a singular, unified… Read More

a sign that reads "Upgrade Now Before It's Too Late"

"Starting next week we will no longer provide tech support for your current software. Sorry."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Refuse-the-Upgrade Day

T.J. Eckleburg bookof-daze 1 year

Welcome to the stubborn, dig-your-heels-in celebration of defiance against corporate peer pressure and the tyranny of the “new and improved.” Today we stand tall, defending… Read More

Wanted poster featuring Schrödinger's cat's photo on it

"Wanted dead or alive or both."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Schrödinger’s Cat Day Quiz℠

philmaggitti bookof-daze 2 years

There is only one kind of person in the world. He who knows about SchrÃ¶dinger’s cat, and he who does not. For most of us,… Read More

Image of a stern-looking man with his arms folded and the word irregardless printed across the top of the image

"You get a problem with irregardless?"

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Irregardless Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 3 years

We love the sound of irregardless. It’s a four-syllable word from the wrong side of the dictionary, we know; but one should never send a… Read More

cartoon image of a man in bed with a chagrined expression on his face

"Man awakening in a bed with two wrong sides,"

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Woke Up on the Wrong Side of the Bed Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 3 years

The Romans had an expression for it . . . “it” being a foul, snot-flinging, food-showing, butt-kicking mood that envelops a person for no reason.… Read More

Cartoon image of Isaab Newton and a few apples falling near his head

"An apple a day keeps ..."

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Conservation of Gravity Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze, trump 3 years

A critical shortfall of gravity brought on by the failed gravitational policies of the past is the greatest existential threat facing this country. The United… Read More

Young adults wearing DAMM parody t-shirts socializing at bar.

Gimme a D, gimme me an A ...

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Dipsticks Against Mad Mothers

philmaggitti bookof-daze, Lindsay Lohan 5 years

[SATIRE] The following is purely and impurely fictional. James Carville famously described Pennsylvania as “Philadelphia on one side, Pittsburgh on the other, and Alabama in… Read More