Celebrity Shockers | Outrageous Celebrity Moments, Arrests & Meltdowns

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Pasta or rice?

Judith Mercer, 64, retired dental-office receptionist

Allegedly twirling responsibly at 28 Rotini Lane, Scranton, PA

Pasta. Rice is perfectly respectable, but nobody has ever brought out a steaming bowl of rice and made me feel that the evening had suddenly improved. Pasta has occasion to it. Rice feels like somebody remembered we needed a side dish.

Raymond Givens, 57, commercial awning estimator

Allegedly measuring portions at 311 Long Grain Road, Tulsa, OK

Rice. It knows its job and doesn't make a production out of it. You put something on rice, and rice gets out of the way. Pasta wants sauce, cheese, garlic bread and everybody's attention. I already have relatives like that.

Brenda Kessler, 46, assistant manager at a self-storage facility

Allegedly keeping both options available at 9 Starch Crossing, Peoria, IL

Pasta on weekdays, rice on weekends. I realize most people would do that the other way around, but most people have never successfully managed three hundred and twelve storage units. Systems matter. Once you start improvising with carbohydrates, other standards begin to slip.

Young male singer performing on stage with energetic lighting.

Celebrity Shockers

Oprah Winfrey Ruse Didn’t Fool Hermes

Biff Scuzzy 21 years

Rumors about Oprah Winfrey’s shoplifting habits resurfaced after the talk show host and her posse had been turned away from a Hermes shop in Paris… Read More

Courtney Love holding up her mug shot arrest card with her image on it.

All you need is Love.

Celebrity Shockers

Courtney Love Chief Suspect in Pamela Anderson Robbery

Chip Hilton celebrity shocker 21 years

Sources close to the investigation of a recent break-in at Pamela Anderson’s house say Courtney Love is their chief suspect in the case. An unknown… Read More

Black-and-white dog on couch with pug pillow

Celebrity Shockers

Free Katie Holmes Movement Gathers President Bush Endorsement

Chip Hilton Lindsay Lohan 21 years

President George W. Bush has added his voice to the growing chorus demanding free Katie Holmes. The president demanded an investigation into the whereabouts of… Read More

"More black people are killing by falling apples each year than white people are."

Celebrity Shockers

Leonardo DiCaprio Assaulted by Animal Rights Activist

Biff Scuzzy Paris Hilton 21 years

Leonardo DiCaprio was smacked upside the head by a bottle-wielding animal rights activist while leaving a party in the pre-dawn Hollywood hours yesterday. As DiCaprio,… Read More

Celebrity Shockers

Britney Spears Speaks Out about Namibia Trip, Again

philmaggitti Britney Spears 21 years

A satirical “news” report about Britney Spears’ plan to move to Namibia that appeared on this website yesterday has been corroborated by China Daily, proving once… Read More

In this top ten list of patron saints of bad decisions, Stained-glass parody showing ten absurd patron saints of bad decisions, each clutching their symbolic props, surrounded by neon beer-light halos.”

The saints we deserve: a holy order dedicated to regret, overdrafts, and karaoke gone wrong.

Celebrity Shockers

Tom Cruise Signals Scientology Mothership

philmaggitti celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 21 years

Scientologist Tom Cruise has been playing the mad-brained bear of late. He scared the hell out of Oprah last month by going all spastic on… Read More

Two men in vintage costumes holding documents, posing indoors.

Celebrity Shockers

Tom Cruise Debunks Female Orgasm Study

Chip Hilton celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 21 years

Stay tuned, rubberneckers and doctoral candidates in celebrity meltdowns. The vanilla sky is apparently the limit as Cruise ricochets across America promoting his summer release,… Read More

"I should have had a cape."

Celebrity Shockers

Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields Trade Insults

Chip Hilton Britney Spears, celebrity shockers, Tom Cruise 21 years

Stay tuned, rubberneckers and doctoral candidates in celebrity meltdowns. The vanilla sky is apparently the limit as Cruise ricochets across America promoting his summer release,… Read More