Horoscopes Archives - Page 18 of 27 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Pancakes or waffles?

Marlene Bishop, 56, retired office birthday-card coordinator

Allegedly flipping opinions from 18 Mutual Block Lane, Boise, ID

Pancakes. They’re simple, dependable, and don’t require specialized equipment or a PhD in batter geometry. Waffles always feel like overachievers, showing off with their little pockets. I just want breakfast, not a grid of expectations.

Russell Givens, 67, former vending machine route efficiency analyst

Allegedly dining from 404 Engagement Court, Dayton, OH

Waffles. They hold more syrup, which is the whole point. Pancakes just let it run off the sides like they’re trying to be healthy. I like a breakfast that knows its purpose and sticks to it.

Sheila Treadwell, 43, freelance neighborhood newsletter fact checker

Allegedly whisking from 9 Repost Terrace, Savannah, GA

Both, depending on the mood. Pancakes for comfort, waffles for commitment. If you make me choose, it means you don’t understand me. Or breakfast. Or the complexities of modern life.

A man arguing with a speaker just after reading his horoscope.

"When even your Bluetooth speaker thinks your playlist is a cry for help."

Horoscopes

Distressing Fake Horoscopes, August 30

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 1 year

(Inaccurate but fake horoscopes presented not to guide you but to warn the furniture.) â™ˆ Aries (March 21–April 19) Your confidence is admirable, considering how… Read More

"Who's got the darts?"

Horoscopes

🏈 College Football Horoscopes: August 29

T.J. Eckleburg football, horoscopes 1 year

(Let’s lace up the cleats and consult the stars–because this season, your fate is wearing shoulder pads and a headset.) â™ˆ Aries (March 21–April 19)… Read More

"What do you want it to say?"

Horoscopes

Clever and Confounding Horoscopes for August 28

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 1 year

Welcome to your Clever and Confounding Horoscopes: Where the Stars Are Tripping and the Spellings Are Freelance. If the zodiac signs herein look … off,… Read More

A poster of Mercury in retrograde dancing through an inbox

"It was too full anyway."

Horoscopes

Irregular Horoscopes for August 27, 2025

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 1 year

(Let’s crack open the celestial vending machine and see what expired snacks and irregular horoscopes the cosmos is peddling today.) â™ˆ Aries (Mar 21 –… Read More

"Bring me the head of St. Paul."

Horoscopes

Irregular Insect Horoscopes for August 26, 2025

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 1 year

ðŸ¦‚ Aries (March 21 – April 19) – The Aggressive Bark Beetle Born to bore–into wood, into conflict, into the heart of the matter. Aries… Read More

A man trying to grill a watermelon that has caught on fire,

"Flambe, my ass."

Horoscopes

Irregular Horoscopes for August 25, 2025

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 1 year

(The stars are drunk on melted popsicles and the scent of inflatable pool vinyl. The constellations have shed their dignity like a sun-burnt tourist shedding… Read More

"Wait, you're not a bird."

Horoscopes

Your Daily Irregular Horoscope for August 24, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 1 year

Today the cosmos decided that astrology was boring and subcontracted your fate to the Audubon Society. Your zodiac sign has been yoked to a bird,… Read More

"You be my honeysuckle, I'll be your bee."

Horoscopes

🌸 Flower Power Horoscopes for August 23, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 1 year

Tall, radiant, and always facing (hogging) the spotlight. You’re photosynthesizing applause. Today your ego will bloom like a roadside attraction–visible from space. Just remember: even sunflowers bow at dusk. Humility is your compost.