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Candy, Little Girl

No lie. We've been at this shit for the better or the worse part of twenty-one years. Not many other satire sites can make that brag, humbly or otherwise. Sample an offering from our drop-dead, satisfaction-guaranteed menu, located beneath the box of chocolates below, and win a free puppy.

image of a Whitman's Sampler box of chocolates

Self-Satisfaction Guaranteed

image of old fashioned pinup girl calendar Book of Daze

Who celebrates
National Cupcake
Day? Or National
Registered Nurses
Day? National
Take Your Kid to
Work Day? Screw that and your kid, too. We celebrate the really fun daze that nobody else does.

patron saints for hire

How many saints can dance on the head of a pin? Damned if we know; but we do know that one (or more) of those dancing nancies has the cure for your hemorrhoids--or whatever the fuck else ails you. So tell us where it hurts you, and we'll tell you where to send your donation. Let us pray.

The Grammar Prick

image of the gramar prick

Meaner than a 250-pound, lesbian language arts teacher, the Grammar Prick will split your head if you dare to split an infinitive, not to mention confusing ironic and coincidental. Read on.

Music

Music

Keith Richards Snorted His Cat’s Ashes

| 18 years Author Image Chip Hilton 466 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Rolling Stones rhythm guitarist Keith Richards angrily denied a report that he had snorted his late father’s ashes. During a chance meeting with Rolling Stone magazine’s AARP correspondent, Anthony D. Curtis, in the men’s room of a New York City nightclub, Mr. Richards called the report “a load of bollocks” and said was going Read More

Music

Brad Delp Memorialized by Burger King

| 18 years Author Image Biff Scuzzy 503 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Former Boston singer Brad Delp will be honored by the Burger King corporation, a company spokesman said yesterday. Bill Pitt, regional manager for Burger King’s New England stores, said the company made the decision following reports that Mr. Delp had died from carbon monoxide poisoning “after shutting himself inside a bathroom with Read More

Music

Angelina Jolie Accepts Oscar for Klaus Harmony

| 18 years Author Image Chip Hilton 485 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Angelina Jolie lent a much needed touch of spice to last night’s Oscar awards snooze fest. The thirty-one-year-old Tomb Raider star brought the audience out of its slumber when she appeared late in the proceedings via satellite to accept a lifetime achievement award for Klaus Harmony, the legendary erotic film score composer known as Read More

Music

Dixie Chicks Sweep Grammies, Ban Country Music Stations

| 18 years Author Image philmaggitti 448 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – After sweeping the top three categories at the 49th annual Grammy Awards last night, the Dixie Chicks announced they would “sue the ass off” any country music radio station that reversed a ban on the Chicks’ music and started playing their songs again. “Those bastards had their chance,” said Chicks’ lead singer, Read More

Music

Jessica Simpson Split with Nick Lachey Fueled by Klaus Harmony

| 18 years Author Image Chip Hilton 535 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Jessica Simpson told Elle magazine that the music of German composer Klaus Harmony was “the tripping point” in her relationship with her ex-husband Nick Lachey. In an interview that appears in the March issue of Elle, Ms. Simpson said that discovering Mr. Harmony’s music “opened me up to the possibilities of life and allowed me Read More

Music

Keith Urban Tour Sponsored by O’Doul’s

| 18 years Author Image philmaggitti 476 Views 3 min read

NASHVILLE, Tenn. – Keith Urban, fresh out of a three-month residency for alcohol abuse treatment at the Betty Ford clinic, will ease back into drinking on stage again with a short run of club shows in the United Kingdom and Germany beginning in April. Paul Freundlich, the country singer’s publicist, confirmed that the shows will Read More

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Flash Fiction

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Most articles, books, movies, TV shows, and foreplay are twice as long as they need to be. Therefore, Postcards from the Pug Bus is devoted to promoting flash fiction. If you ask ten different people what flash fiction is, you'll get twelve different answers. At the Pug Bus all of our flash-fiction pieces are 50 words: full stop. Anything longer is longer than it needs to be. Read on

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The Pug Bus Blog

Wherein our fearless editor in briefs, who turned eighty-two this year, holds forth and cracks wise about his disdain for soccer moms, feminists of both sexes, the evil that is Mick Jagger, the sorry-ass WNBA, the trans tyranny, the pronoun police, climate scolds, and other blots on the fucking landscape. Read on

The Pug Bus Interview

image of phil maggitti

Presenting the questions that nobody else has the wit or the sack to ask. Featuring an interview with Barry, ex-President Obama's neglected white half.  Read on

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Trigger warning! The content of this website may cause raging panic attacks in hypersensitive snowflakes who suffer from androphobia, galactophobia, emetophobia, corprophobia, claustrophobia, fear of taints, and other psycho-sexual maladies too numerous to mention.

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© The fine fucking print: The editorial content on this page is fictional. It is presented for satirical and/or entertainment purposes only. We cannot be held responsible for the actions of anyone who takes this sort of shit seriously. We also do not wish to be held responsible for any copyrighted material that sneaked onto this page when we weren't looking. If you can prove that anything on this page belongs rightfully to you, we will happily take it down and return the unused portion. No questions asked.

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