BLM Declares National White Chocolate Day Racist
Black Lives Matter (BLM) plans to interrupt tail-gaiting parties at several NFL games this afternoon to protest the celebration of National White Chocolate Day, observed… Read More
News
Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
Pug Bus Service Marks National Penultimate Day℠
The National Penultimate Dayâ„ campaign, launched recently by Postcards from the Pug Bus, took a giant step toward gravitas yesterday when Postcards’ editor in briefs… Read More
President Trump Vows to Make GPS Great Again
WASHINGTON, D.C.—President Trump announced this morning that he would ask the Department of Homeland Security to investigate an alarming rise in GPS malfunctions. Although he… Read More
Discordian Convention Coming to West Chester, PA
WEST CHESTER,PA–Once known as The Athens of the East, this leafy college borough is bidding fair to become San Francisco East. Step one was the… Read More
Trump Praises Pug Bus for Official English Policy
President-elect Donald Trump said yesterday that he wants to see English become the official language in all fifty states. Currently English is the official language… Read More
Michael Moore Urges Simultaneous Toilet Flush on Inauguration Day
FLINT, MI—In his ongoing quest to delegitimize Donald Trump’s presidency, Michael Moore is now urging Americans to flush their toilets en masse when Mr. Trump… Read More
Trump Appoints Grammar Grump to New Cabinet Post
President-elect Donald J. Trump has appointed the Grammar Grump to the newly created cabinet post of Secretary of Grammar and Usage, which will replace the… Read More
Black Lives Matter Calls for Boycott of White Avatars
D’Aryll Scott-Jones, Director of All Things That Matter of Black Lives Matter, called for immediate boycotts yesterday of all websites “that allow white supremacists to… Read More