News Archives - Page 19 of 31 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Sporting event or concert?

Dennis Larkin, 61, retired municipal scoreboard electrician

Allegedly keeping score at 27 Overtime Circle, Akron, OH

Sporting event. At a concert, if the band is terrible, everyone politely pretends otherwise. At a ballgame, 30,000 people will immediately inform a complete stranger that he has failed at his profession. There is an honesty to that.

Carla Jennings, 48, freelance wedding playlist negotiator

Allegedly listening from 114 Encore Avenue, Tucson, AZ

Concert. Nobody has ever asked me to study league standings before enjoying a guitar solo. I arrive, somebody plays music, I applaud, and eventually everyone goes home. Civilization should strive for more transactions this simple.

Harold Fenwick, 72, former bowling alley shoe inventory supervisor

Allegedly choosing seats at 6 Upper Deck Drive, Scranton, PA

Sporting event. I like knowing there will be a winner, a loser, and several thousand people convinced the officials are personally conspiring against them. Concerts rarely offer that kind of emotional structure unless the parking lot is badly managed.

Friedrich Nietzsche sits alone at a wooden table in a stark white room, surrounded by surreal stacks of endless cards, a darkly comic scene echoing the futility of self-help books.

Self-help books sold separately. For good reason.

News

Corey Haim or Corey Feldman Found Dead of Drug Overdose

philmaggitti 16 years

HOLLYWOOD – Actor Corey Haim, 38, or actor Corey Feldman, 38, was pronounced dead at Providence Saint Joseph Medical Center in Burbank,… Read More

""This sure beats the old math."

News

Did SeaWorld Trainer Dawn Brancheau Commit Suicide?

philmaggitti 17 years

ORLANDO – As SeaWorld prepares to reintroduce its Dancing with Killer Whales program this weekend, rumors have begun rising, like tiny bubbles of blood to… Read More

News

Patrick Kennedy Retires to Spend More Time on Facebook

philmaggitti 17 years

PROVIDENCE, R.I. – Patrick Joseph Kennedy II, who has represented Rhode Island’s 1st congressional district since 1995, announced earlier this week that he would not… Read More

Courtside fan wearing a “Nicholson” basketball jersey and foam finger at an NBA game, celebrating during a matchup featured in NBA Trade Grades coverage.

Front office says this was ‘strictly basketball.’ The foam finger disagrees.

News

Viagra Vision Loss Blamed in Senior Citizen Fire

philmaggitti 17 years

EXTON, Penna. – A seventy-two-year-old man set fire to his apartment in the Sunrise Acres retirement facility last night after he had tried to light… Read More

Person clicking “Agree” on endless terms and conditions updates at a kitchen table, surrounded by unread legal pages and quiet digital surrender.

You read every word. Legally, anyway.

News Weed

AARP Head Announces Support for Legalized Pot

philmaggitti marijuana 17 years

WASHINGTON – The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will sponsor a smoke-in to promote the group’s campaign to legalize marijuana. The weekend event, called… Read More

News

SpaghettiOs Creator, Donald Goerke, Chokes to Death, Uh-Oh

philmaggitti 17 years

CAMDEN, N.J. – Donald Goerke, the man who put the “Oh” in SpaghettiOs, choked to death Sunday night while eating his customary bedtime snack of… Read More

On Book of Daze Work Naked Day a naked man from the waist up, wearing a king's crown

"I did it my way."

News

Taylor Swift Plans Chain of Anal Bleaching Salons

philmaggitti 17 years

Country artist Taylor Swift, 20, announced on her website yesterday that she plans to open a chain of anal bleaching salons this summer. Ms. Swift,… Read More

News

There’s Trouble in The Dog Whisperer’s Paradise

Biff Scuzzy dog, news 17 years

LOS ANGELES, Calif. – Who doesn’t love Cesar Millan? The munchkin figure, the sun-god smile, the cute, spikey hair, those preternaturally white teeth, that funny ogg-sent.… Read More