Rudy Giuliani Proposes Moving Kwanzaa to New Time Slot
NEW YORK–Rudy Giuliani may have skipped the GOP presidential debate at historically black Morgan State University last night, but his absence does not mean he… Read More
News
Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
Madeleine McCann Sightings Impede Investigation
LONDON – The latest Madeleine McCann “sighting” confirms an ironic phenomenon: sightings of the missing four-year-old are impeding the search for her by siphoning away… Read More
Osama Bin Laden Bombs in CNN 911 Awards Opener
ATLANTA – It was meant to be Osama Bin Laden’s career revival, a triumphant return to form that would finally shush the incessant whispering that… Read More
Kate McCann’s Diary, an Exclusive Peek
LONDON – Pages purported to have come from Kate McCann’s diary have been photocopied and leaked to The Sun, England’s tabloid conscience. According to the paper’s… Read More
Petraeus Says Surge Is Working, Britney Spears Needs More Time
WASHINGTON, D.C. – General David Petraeus told Congress yesterday that President Bush’s surge in Iraq is working, but Operation Britney Spears will need more time… Read More
Madeleine McCann’s Mother Advances to Suspect Round in Quiz Show
PORTIMAO, Portugal – Madeline McCann’s mother, Kate, has advanced to the suspect round in this season’s smash Portuguese television show Did You Kill Your Daughter?. Mrs.… Read More
Local Man Arrested for Stealing His Own Identity
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Li Ming, a graduate assistant in computer science at West Chester University, was arrested and charged with identity theft yesterday after… Read More
Jerry Lewis Apologizes to Illiterates Everywhere
LOS ANGELES – Former comedian Jerry Lewis apologized yesterday “to illiterates everywhere” for a remark he made during the 207th hour of his annual Labor… Read More