Sunday, December 10, 2023

Gennifer Flowers Vows to Go Commando at First Debate

 NEW YORK—Gennifer Flowers, one-time cum-dumpster for then governor of Arkansas, William Jefferson Blythe Clinton, says she will “go commando” at Monday night’s first presidential debate. Ms. Flowers, an “entertainment industry consultant and advocate for women’s rights,” was invited to the debate by Republican candidate Donald Trump.

“Yeah, I reached out to her,” said Mr. Trump, “not in the way that Crooked Hillary’s husband did, but my wives have all been too hot to cheat on. Actually, I wanted to invite all those Juanitas, Dollys, Paulas, Eileens, Lencolas, and the odd former Miss Arkansas or two that Slick Willie bamboozled, but I could get only so many free tickets.”

Ms. Flowers, who was Mr. Clinton’s mistress for twelve years, is the only other woman besides Monica Lewinski (the devil in a blue stained dress) whom Mr. Clinton has admitted to doing. She said that her decision to go commando was an act of “guerilla theater, like Sharon Stone crossing and uncrossing her legs in that Michael Douglas movie.”

Smile, Hillary, you’re on Candid Camera.

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