John Roberts’ Advice on Briefs v. Boxers Quotas
WASHINGTON – Supreme Court nominee John G. Roberts Jr. advised Attorney General William French Smith in 1982 that “it is a comfortable fit, philosophically” to… Read More
News
Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
Bush Hails Iraqi Constitution’s Marriage Definition
WASHINGTON, D.C. – The Bush administration put a positive spin on Iraqi lawmakers’ failure to agree on a draft charter of a new constitution by… Read More
President Bush Went AWOL from Boy Scouts, Democrats Charge
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Democrats in Congress have called for an investigation into President George W. Bush’s Boy Scout service. Even as the president offered words… Read More
FDA Viagra Blindness Warning Too Late
WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Yesterday the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) announced that the popular erectile dysfunction drugs Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra should carry warnings… Read More
Cruise, DiCaprio Attacks Spur Hate Crime Legislation
The recent attacks on Tom Cruise and Leonardo DiCaprio have inspired California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to ask the state legislature to pass hate crime legislation… Read More
President Bush Again Denies John Bolton is the Antichrist
President George W. Bush was forced to deny again yesterday that John Bolton, his Mephistophelean nominee for ambassador to the United Nations, is, in fact,… Read More
Tom Cruise Squirted by Harry Potter Fan
Scientologist Tom Cruise was “attacked” last night by a Harry Potter fan wielding a water pistol disguised as a microphone. The attack occurred as Cruise… Read More
Terri Schiavo Autopsy and Diary Show No Abuse
What if Terri Schiavo could have keep a diary? What if, instead of being in a vegetative state, Ms. Schiavo had been in some kind… Read More