Hospital Asks ER Patients to Describe Symptoms Using Metaphors
The Brandywine Regional Medical Center has launched its new Expressive Emergency Room, a program requiring all incoming ER patients to describe their symptoms using metaphors,… Read More
Postcards from The Pug Bus
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
News
Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
Roadkill Management Program Debuts in Pennsylvania
In a move described as “a long-overdue rethinking of the transportation landscape,” the Pennsylvania Roadkill Management Authority (PRMA), headquartered in Harrisburg, has announced its Proactive… Read More
The good news is the pizza still comes with eight slices. The better news is one of them now has a subscription model.
Subscription Service Introduces Premium Plan for Services You’re Already Paying For
Continuum+ of San Jose, California, a major technology company, has unveiled a new premium plan designed to give customers access to features they vaguely remember having… Read More
Study Finds Most Personal Growth Occurs Five Minutes After Winning an Imaginary Argument
The greatest breakthroughs in personal growth occur after a real conversation ends and one participant, later alone, suddenly becomes devastatingly articulate in his own mind.… Read More
County Launches Rent-a-Troll Program
The Chester County, Pennsylvania, Board of Supervisors has approved a six-month rent-a-troll program allowing residents to rent the services of an irritating individual through the county’s… Read More
County Library Introduces Quiet Hour Enforcement Drone
Citing “a measurable uptick in whisper‑based disturbances,” the Westtown, Pennsylvania, Public Library announced today the deployment of a Quiet Hour Enforcement Drone, a small, hovering… Read More
Nation’s Introverts Exhausted by the Constant Need to Explain Introversion
According to the Center for Personality Fatigue at The Ohio State University, the nation’s introverts are weary of the constant need to explain that introversion… Read More
Researchers believe he last experienced an uninterrupted thought sometime during the first Trump administration.
The Last Human With Phone Notifications Turned On Finally Located
For nearly six years, researchers at Miami’s Center for Applied Attention Studies believed the final adult human with phone notifications still fully activated had either… Read More