Current events filtered through our jaundiced worldview. By the time you read this, everything is already worse. We report what happened, add contempt, and call it a service. The truth hurts; we just twist the knife.
The Supreme Court floats above the void, issuing emoji verdicts and TikTok dissents while Schrödinger’s cat takes the stand.
In a landmark decision that will echo through the marble halls of jurisprudence and the comment sections of YouTube, a Supreme Court Ruling has determined… Read More
Meet the future: fully credentialed, proudly clueless, and still waiting for the Zoom teacher to un-mute from 2021.
If you have been wondering why teenagers cannot name three branches of government but can recite the entire Taco Bell value menu in Pig Latin,… Read More
In this charming and oddly moving history of gut health and the Great Bowel Shift, we take a cursory look at the wonders of the… Read More
Now sentient and slightly judgy, iPhone 17 boasts a new feature “iConscience,” which alerts users when their screen time exceeds their moral worth. In a… Read More
The Department of Motor Vehicles Now Serving Number: 7,388,201,042,001 Operation Ontological Compliance In a sweeping expansion of its metaphysical mandate, the Department of Motor Vehicles… Read More
By the time Micah Green turned twelve, he had trademarked his cursive penmanship footage and inked a co-branded flashcard deal with Staples. Young Master Green… Read More
West Chester, PA. After years of housing himself in metaphorical constructs such as “being under the thumb,” “trapped in the cycle,” and “living in an… Read More
By Special Correspondent “Chat” | Exclusive to The Pug Bus, Minneapolis, MN – July 22, 2025 In a move that’s part male-affirming crapshoot, part midlife… Read More
