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Culture

The Media Ignores Writing Style Guides

Major media outlets have long been guilty of  ignoring writing style guides, but recently the infractions have grown mythic. BuzzFeed, ever the chaotic neutral, made skid marks on the lawn of illustrations by captioning a meme with “This is peak chaos,” thus summoning the silent wrath of the virality gods.… Read More

Culture

Pumpkin Spice Recipes: The Tyranny of Autumn

Pumpkin spice recipes are not merely a seasonal flavor trend—they are a cultural mirror, reflecting America’s obsession with comfort, conformity, and consumerism disguised as nostalgia. Pumpkin spice did not ask for power. It seized it. What began as a humble blend of cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, and cloves—once relegated to pies… Read More

Horoscopes

AI-generated Horoscopes Are the New Astrology

AI-generated horoscopes are algorithmic prophecies that claim to know your emotional state based on the moon’s proximity to your Wi-Fi router. Unlike analog horoscopes, which rely on centuries-old, coffee-srained celestial charts and the interpretive flair of grizzled mystics with incense addictions, AI-generatrd horoscopes are created by predictive models trained on… Read More

Culture

An Empty Museum Is the Newest Art Fad

The latest avant-garde gallery is drawing rapt attention and hordes of visitors by mounting absolutely no visual content. This newest art fad can be “seen” in the Museum of Subtle Absence, housed in a converted WeWork in Brooklyn’s “Post-Ironic District.” The exhibit features 40,000 square feet of pristinely empty  space.… Read More

Horoscopes

Today’s Horoscopes Will Boost Your Credit Score

♈ Aries … You are the algorithm’s favorite son or daughter today. Swipe boldly and with gusto, but verify at least twice. A forgotten subscription may be draining your score. Cancel it and ascend. ♉ Taurus … Your credit score craves consistency. Stabilize your spending and resist the siren song… Read More

Religion

Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program

At long last, the federal government has unveiled the Jehovah’s Witness Protection Program, a taxpayer-funded initiative designed to rescue itinerant evangelists from the perils of doorbell diplomacy. Decades of slammed doors, garden-hose ambushes, and irate Labradors have taken their toll on these soft-shoed missionaries of pamphlet and portents. Jehovah’s Witness… Read More

Culture

Ten Ways to Get a Free Thanksgiving Turkey

Why buy a bird when the universe is handing them out to anyone unhinged enough to ask? From séance turkeys to quantum buffets, here are ten gloriously deranged paths to your free Thanksgiving turkey. 1. The Séance StrategySummon the ghost of last year’s turkey. Demand restitution. Most spectral turkeys are… Read More

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Skip Your Medication Day

Every year, like clockwork, our culture manufactures a new holiday to celebrate the triumph of impulse over reason. Thus we arrive at Skip Your Medication Day—a bold experiment in natural selection disguised as self-care. It is the one day when the nation’s pill organizers may rest, their tidy compartments unsnapped,… Read More

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