postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Celebrities

Tom Cruise South Park Scientology Episode Outed Here

philmaggitti 429 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – Tom Cruise, whom no one has ever accused of being self-deprecating, threw a tantrum when he learned that Comedy Central was planning to re-broadcast the infamous “Trapped in the Closet” episode of South Park on Wednesday March 15. According to Daily Variety, Mr. Cruise demanded the episode be pulled or else he would refuse to Read More

Celebrities

Sharon Stone Joins Naked News

philmaggitti 475 Views 2 min read

COOTER, Mo. – Sharon Stone is expected to visit the tiny southern Missouri hamlet of Cooter early next week to announce that she is joining the cast of Naked News. Not satisfied with appearing naked in the soon-to-be-released Basic Instinct 2, Ms. Stone sent an audition tape to Naked News last month. “We were intrigued by the tape, which Read More

Celebrities

Tony Soprano Victim of Dick Cheney-Style Hit

philmaggitti 419 Views 2 min read

NEW JERSEY – Mob boss Tony Soprano was the victim of a Dick Cheney-style hit on the season opener of The Sopranos last night. Mr. Soprano was shot once in the abdomen by his Uncle Junior, who mistook him for an intruder when he (Uncle Junior) came downstairs in his house and saw Mr. Soprano standing in Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears on Hawaii, Orlando Bloom on Crack

Biff Scuzzy 388 Views 3 min read

MAUI – Britney Spears is quickly learning to appreciate the culture and customs of Hawaii, as the accompanying image shows. In that image Ms. Spears, wearing an autographed organic hat from Bono’s Edun collection, is cheerfully participating in the ancient Hawaiian wedding custom Wahuli Loma. According to Hawaiian tradition, newlyweds can secure the blessings of Read More

CulturePolitics

Republicans Riot over Brokeback Mountain Parody

philmaggitti 429 Views 4 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A parody of the controversial movie Brokeback Mountain that depicts President George W. Bush and former lobbyist Jack Abramoff as lovers has ignited rioting and civil disobedience in Republican enclaves from Belle Isle to Grosse Pointe to Orange County. “This is the supreme insult,” sobbed Missy Caswellan as she banged her cocktail spoon on Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie Campaigns for Food Warning Labels

Chip Hilton 453 Views 4 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Nicole Richie, a celebrity not particularly known for her social conscience,or her interest in food, has asked California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger to become involved in the movement to stop the passage of legislation that would delete many warnings from food labels. What has Ms. Richie’s bib in a tucker is a bill passed Read More

PoliticsPug Bus Pop Quiz

George W. Bush Photo Quiz Redux

Biff Scuzzy 485 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recently published photo of President George W. Bush has Washington insiders wagging their heads and shaking their tongues in agitated speculation. The photo, published for the first time here in the pages of Postcards from the Pug Bus, shows a facet of the presidential profile not often seen in public. We Read More

Celebrities

Brad Pitt’s Divorce Guide Postponed

Chip Hilton 408 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Brad Pitt, who believes that the best way for men on the verge of divorce to maintain their privacy is by moving to a different hotel every week, has announced that the self-help book for men he is writing has fallen behind schedule. Tentatively entitled Break It Like Brad, the book will be Read More

Celebrities

Jessica Alba Demands Playboy Insert Nude Photos

Chip Hilton 449 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Film star Jessica Alba demanded that Playboy magazine pull its March issue and insert nude photos of her or else face a lawsuit. The actress, who appears on Playboy‘s cover but not inside the magazine, said on Thursday that Playboy‘s editors had misled her “legions of fans” into thinking they would see her naked inside. “My Read More

Music

George Michael Advert Pulled by American Express

philmaggitti 442 Views 1 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – The George Michael advert that was scheduled to be included in the new American Express campaign has been pulled following Mr. Michael’s latest brush with the law. The advert appeared briefly on the company’s website early this morning. Thanks to the wonders of screen capture, Postcards from the Pug Bus is Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

The Jessica Simpson Divorce Quiz Redux

Chip Hilton 486 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Although Jessica Simpson purchased a $3-million house in Beverly Hills following her split with Nick Lachey, the singer-actress-shoe designer seems to prefer the comfort of the storied Chateau Marmont when she has a date. According to several tabloid publications’ paid informants, however, some of the Chateau Marmont’s other guests wish Ms. Simpson Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Bono Nobel Peace Prize Quiz

Chip Hilton 498 Views 2 min read

WEST CHESTER, Penna. – Irish rock star Bono has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize, one of the few significant awards that has eluded him. Time magazine’s 2005 Person of the Year and Rolling Stone magazine’s Most Annoying Celebrity of 2005, “solo male performance in a rock band” category, Mr. Bono could complete the hat trick by copping Read More

Sporting Life

Winter Olympics Will Eliminate Medals in 2010

philmaggitti 447 Views 3 min read

TORINO, Italy – In response to Olympic athletes’ proclaimed indifference to medals, an Olympic official told reporters following the women’s figure skating championship last night that certificates of participation would “more than likely” replace medals at the next Winter Olympics, which will be held in Vancouver in 2010. “After listening to athlete after athlete declare Read More

Celebrities

Nicole Richie Toys with Food and Paparazzi

Chip Hilton 440 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Once again Nicole Richie has managed to go out to lunch without actually being photographed eating. The ninety-one-pound starlet lunched with friends for forty-five minutes at an outdoor cafe earlier this week, but not one of the dozens of paparazzi who circled the block in a convoy of SUVs came away with a Read More