postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
Music

Kevin Federline’s PopoZao Surprisingly Not Bad

Chip Hilton 465 Views 3 min read

(Two Stars Out of Four, Explicit Lyrics) As rap songs go, Kevin Federline’s “PopoZao,” the first single off his Straight Outta Malibu CD that will drop in the spring, slips easily into the middle of the 2 Pac—not great, not horrible, not chronic, not trash weed. In fact “PopoZao” is dark years ahead of Mr. Federline’s last Read More

Celebrities

Britney Spears Obsessed with Princess Diana

philmaggitti 451 Views 4 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Britney Spears’ obsession with the late Princess Diana, which has worried the singer’s friends for some time, became public knowledge last week when Ms. Spears told People magazine, “The paparazzi killed Princess Di, and they’re fixin’ to kill me next.” According to a close friend, Ms. Spears’ obsession with Princess Diana began last summer when Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Sues Life & Style over Split Story

Biff Scuzzy 470 Views 4 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Tom Cruise has filed a $10-million lawsuit against Life & Style magazine for reporting that he and fiancée, Katie Holmes, called off their engagement sometime before Valentine’s Day. Branding the article willfully false and inaccurate, Mr. Cruise declared, “This will be the most expensive trash that rag has ever printed.” The Life & Style article reported that Read More

Sporting Life

Wayne Gretzky and Janet Jones Handicap the Oscars

philmaggitti 422 Views 3 min read

PHOENIX, Ariz. – Phoenix Coyotes coach Wayne Gretzky and his actress wife, Janet Jones, won’t permit a little bad press regarding their gambling habits to dampen their trademark sense of humor. They have decided to “damn the hockey pucks” and to honor a commitment they made to US Weekly last year to handicap the 2006 Oscar race. Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Angelina Jolie Disappointed by Results of Poll

Chip Hilton 450 Views 2 min read

MALIBU – Angelina Jolie was not amused to learn that more than two out of three respondents to a recent Internet poll failed to recognize her adopted son’s middle name. Although Ms. Jolie stopped short of questioning the accuracy of the poll—or the integrity of its sponsor—she said the results of the poll demonstrated “the Read More

Sporting Life

Wayne Gretzky’s Wife Bet on Instant Replay

philmaggitti 460 Views 2 min read

TRENTON, N.J. – For Wayne Gretzky’s wife, Janet Jones, betting on a football game is “way tame, eh?” The part-time actress and full-time gambler not only bet $75,000 on this year’s Super Bowl but also wagered $5,000 on the pre-game coin toss, $10,000 on the over-under number of combined challenges utilized by Mike Holmgren and Read More

Politics

President Bush Claims Spy Program Foiled Grammy Plot

philmaggitti 459 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON – President George W. Bush told reporters yesterday that “a top-secret domestic spying program” had foiled a plot to disrupt Wednesday’s Grammy Awards ceremony. According to the president, the intercepted communications that led to the discovery of the plot were “among the first fruits of Operation Homeland Harvest,” a new domestic spying program. Unlike Read More

Music

Mariah Carey Declares Comeback Over

Chip Hilton 479 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Pop diva Mariah Carey declared after last night’s Grammy awards that her “brilliant comeback year” was over. While one assistant held her Optifast drink and another held her three Grammys, a tearful Ms. Carey told members of the press, “You won’t have Mimi to kick around any more.” Ms. Carey was clearly Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Britney Spears Driver Safety Quiz

Chip Hilton 457 Views 3 min read

HOLLYWOOD – Britney Spears responded angrily to “all y’all out there who falsely accused me of being irresponsible for not wearing a seat belt when I was teaching little Sean Preston how to steer.” In a message posted in the “Today’s Truth” section of her website, Spears declared, “People shouldn’t be so quick to point Read More

Music

Rolling Stones Inspired by Super Bowl Appearance

philmaggitti 431 Views 3 min read

DETROIT – The Rolling Stones came away from their high-energy, twelve-minute appearance at Super Bowl XL with a renewed enthusiasm about performing. The concert, which was hailed by many Stones fans as the group’s “best in several decades,” was a revelation to Mick Jagger as well. At a press conference immediately following the Super Bowl, Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie Quiz

Biff Scuzzy 453 Views 4 min read

LOS ANGELES – The feeding frenzy for the latest dish about Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie is threatening to overwhelm the golden couple. Although it may be impossible to be too thin or too rich, the Brangelina phenomenon, which is now bigger than the sum of its parts, may prove it is possible to be Read More

Pug Bus Pop Quiz

The Jessica Simpson Divorce Quiz

Chip Hilton 466 Views 3 min read

LOS ANGELES – Although Jessica Simpson purchased a $3-million house in Beverly Hills following her split with Nick Lachey, the singer-actress-shoe designer seems to prefer the comfort of the storied Chateau Marmont when she has a date. According to several tabloid publications’ paid informants, however, some of the Chateau Marmont’s other guests wish Ms. Simpson Read More