Paris Hilton & Pug Bus Crash the Internet: Two Sites, One Stampede

Two dangerously popular websites crashed over the past four days after being mobbed by visitors, once again challenging the cherished belief that there is no such thing as being “too rich or too thin.”

The first victim, www.spicyparis.edu, featured Paris Hilton posing beside a convertible with theatrical car-wash enthusiasm after sampling a Carl’s Jr. Spicy BBQ Burger. The site, commissioned only the day before its catastrophic collapse, was overwhelmed by burger devotees like a distracted tourist who wandered into the wrong street during the running of the bulls.

“We had to evacuate the entire second floor of the office,” said Edgar DeRogatis, chief of technical support at Tangled Webs, the company hosting the Carl’s Jr. project. “Smoke started pouring out of the dedicated server they rented.”

Four hours later, the smoke had cleared, the server had been replaced, and spicyparis.edu was once again online, energetically promoting char-broiled bliss.

The second site to falter, www.pugbus.org, staggered offline shortly after 8:00 a.m. (EDST) when more than one thousand visitors stampeded to read Phil Maggitti’s incisive report on an unusually spirited Senate dispute.

According to the Amish farmer who hosts the Pug Bus website, “We added two extra mules to the primary drive train, but we still could not keep up with demand.”

Reached by courier in the curiously decorated den from which he conducts his publishing empire, the reclusive Maggitti confirmed that his site had been offline for approximately two hours.

“I spoke with Farmer Stoltzfus,” said Maggitti. “I offered to reimburse him for the mule that expired during the surge, but he refused. If this happens again, however, we may have to relocate our IP renumericator to an indoor facility.”

Although Maggitti declined to estimate losses, industry analysts believe the outage could have cost the Pug Bus as much as $2.97 in Google AdSense revenue.

“That is pocket change,” said Maggitti. “We spend more than that on trail mix.”

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