Runaway Bride Wilbanks Indicted for Overdue Books

ATLANTA – Runaway bride Jennifer Wilbanks has been indicted by a grand jury on a number of counts related to her failure to return thirty-seven library books she borrowed from the Gwinnett County Public Library in Norcross, Georgia, last year. The indictment charges Wilbanks with thirty-seven misdemeanor counts of failure to apply for extensions on the books, one felony count of making false statements to a library official, and one felony count of interstate flight to avoid surrendering the overdue items.

“If Wilbanks is convicted of either felony charge, she could be doing her reading in prison for the next five years,” said Gwinnett County District Attorney Danny Porter.

According to library records obtained by Porter’s office, Wilbanks borrowed the books using the RapidScan self-checkout system between January 8 and January 13 last year. Each of the thirty-seven titles, which ranged from self-help books to wedding guides, carried the standard three-week rental period. They are now more than 16,500 days overdue, resulting in more than $800 in library fines.

Because Wilbanks provided an incorrect address and phone number when applying for her library card, the library’s overdue-items department could not locate her until early September. When representatives finally confronted her while she was jogging in a local park, she reportedly said she had just moved in with her fiancé and that the books were still packed somewhere in a basement scheduled for conversion into a wine cellar.

Although Wilbanks appeared “oddly energetic,” running in place and breathing heavily for the duration of the conversation, library officials accepted her explanation — until February.

“First she told us she was too busy planning her wedding to look for the books,” said Mavis Clarke, head of the library’s collection department. “Then she told us she thought the books had been taken by a member of the landscaping crew working on her fiancé’s property. At that point, we had no choice but to obtain a warrant to search the house and recover the items if located.”

The warrant was never executed because Wilbanks disappeared on April 26, sparking a nationwide search. Four days later, library employees arrived to find a voicemail message from Wilbanks.

“She sounded distraught,” said Clarke. “She said she had been kidnapped by a man and a middle-aged woman in a blue pickup truck while trying to load the books into her car to return them.”

Wilbanks later recanted the story. After returning to Duluth, she informed Clarke where to find the books, which the library has since recovered.

“The books did not look significantly worse for wear,” Clarke remarked, declining to name titles for fear that “curiosity-driven borrowers” might attempt to check them out.

A source close to the library told the Gwinnett County Shopper’s lifestyle editor that Five Simple Steps to Emotional Healing, Secrets of Style, and Disguise Techniques were among the titles recovered.

Wilbanks, who recently entered an inpatient treatment program, was not available for comment, though residents had no shortage of opinions.

“I think they ought to throw the book at her,” said Bud “Junior” Higgins, waiting outside a Winn-Dixie. “If she likes books so much, she can work in the prison library.”

“She’s clearly struggling and needs compassion more than punishment,” said Claudia Snopes as she loaded groceries outside a Wal-Mart. “People who take things that are not theirs are often asking for help.”

In other news, President Bush’s nominee for chief U.N. delegate, John Bolton, attempted what witnesses described as a theatrical performance piece on the Capitol steps early this morning.