Paul McCartney Hit with New Abuse Charges from Heather Mills
Disturbing new charges of mental and emotional abuse have been leveled at Paul McCartney by his estranged second wife Heather Mills , who alleged in a thirteen-page court document—plus a newly leaked addendum—that Sir Paul McCartney was no bed-of-roses spouse.
Ms. Mills claimed he once made her cancel an operation on her shorter leg because it conflicted with his Amsterdam vacation, and that he refused to let her keep a bedside convenience “because it makes the room smell like a nursing home.”
She also said he made her crawl up the steps of a plane rather than carry her, joking, “I’m a musician, not a moving company.”
In another allegation, she said McCartney forbade her to breast-feed their daughter. “They’re my investment,” he allegedly quipped. “Hands off the merchandise.”
The new material portrays McCartney less as the mellow knight of “Let It Be” and more as the “Fool on the Hill”–a controlling perfectionist with a thin skin and a thicker ego.
According to Mills, McCartney flew into a rage when he caught her listening to John Lennon’s Working Class Hero: “I carried him. I carried the whole band,” he shouted before performing a ten-minute Yoko Ono impression loud enough to scare the sheep.
Further claims include hiding Mills’ prosthetic leg in a woodpile, insisting on using her handicapped-parking tag, and bragging about taking the last accessible space in a downpour.
One fan in a London record shop sighed, “It’s bad enough he made her crawl to the loo, but I’m shocked by the language. Did he write Michelle with that mouth?”
In other news, Whitney Houston filed divorce papers in Orange County, alleging that Bobby Brown refused to let her keep a propane tank by the bed—proof that romance is indeed flammable.