horoscopes Archives - Page 5 of 23 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Read carefully. The stars are done being polite.

Seven Words You Can’t Say in a Horoscope

Astrology is governed by many rules. Most are imaginary. Some are unwritten … by people who own blazers and say things like brand safety without… Read More

Zodiac movie reviews illustration, surrealistic image of a blue humanoid surrounded by several people in strange poses.

The movie of your life is a flop.

Horoscopes

🍿Zodiac Movie Reviews: Projections of Your Pathetic Life

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

Welcome to the Zodiac Movie Reviews, where we discard all pretense of critical neutrality and tell you exactly how the latest cinematic releases reflect your… Read More

If this is my destiny, I need a refund.

Horoscopes

Your Streaming Daily Horoscopes: When Algorithms Revolt

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

👽 Welcome, seeker, to Your Streaming Daily Horoscopes, located at the intersection of the celestial and the profoundly inconvenient. This is not the astrology of… Read More

Twelve surreal black zodiac icons on beige background, each symbolizing satirical zodiac predictions with dreamlike imagery.

Satirical zodiac predictions: twelve signs, twelve absurdities. Interpret at your own risk.

Horoscopes

🌑 Irregular Horoscopes: Satirical Zodiac Predictions

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

Satirical zodiac predictions: twelve signs, twelve absurdities. Interpret at your own risk. Aries … The moon is hiding inside a vending machine. You will purchase… Read More

Surreal illustration for Pugbus.org featuring a bewildered pug wearing a wizard hat, sitting atop a cosmic yellow school bus covered in zodiac signs. A massive, floating human hand (the non-dominant hand of the cosmos) holds a quill, awkwardly scratching nonsensical horoscopes onto a scroll. In the foreground, a small gray alien and a winged radish creature stand among dozens of scattered antique keys.

When the universe puts in minimal effort, you get maximum confusion. Just like we intended.

Horoscopes

🪐 Non-Dominant Hand Horoscopes 🌙

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

â™ˆ Aries (March 21 – April 19)Aries, a sentient turnip will send you an important, yet untraceable, email regarding the optimal temperature for artisanal ice… Read More

Surreal mirrored twin figures stirring floating zodiac symbols against a pale background, suggesting horoscope mischief.

Gemini denied everything, which only proved they did it.

Horoscopes

Gemini Commits Horoscope Mischief

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

Today at 3:33 a.m. Eastern, Mercury (Gemini’s ruling planet) turned a cartwheel through the 9th House of Meaning, landing squarely on Jupiter’s monocle and committing… Read More

A colorful surreal illustration for horoscope puzzles featuring a floating 3D maze surrounded by bright geometric shapes in red, blue, green, yellow, and orange on a pale background.

The stars outsourced your destiny to a cosmic puzzle department and this is what you get.

Horoscopes

Horoscope Puzzles: Satirical Forecasts You Must Solve Yourself

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

The stars have grown tired of making up stuff. They called in sick and left this lesson plan for today. In horoscope puzzles, each sign… Read More

A single-panel, office humor cartoon. The image features a man sitting at a standard office desk. He has grown multiple extra arms, appearing to have six in total, which are all simultaneously operating three different laptops and answering three different ringing phones. He has a stressed expression and is surrounded by piles of paper and documents, visually depicting the office humor concept of being assigned to three impossible projects simultaneously with competing deadlines.

"I asked for a promotion, and they gave me... more arms."

Horoscopes

Corporate Horoscopes: Office Humor

philmaggitti horoscopes 5 months

Presenting your Corporate Horoscopes: Office Humor, revered and reviled transmissions from the cosmos regarding your slow descent into fluorescent-lit madness. Spoiler: the stars do not… Read More