Witness the majesty of a rainbow trout attempting to play a second-set jam while vacuuming a nebula of kale.
Seekers of cosmic truth and frequenters of the general admission line: today, the celestial bodies have aligned in the shape of a giant, glow-in-the-dark, rainbow-colored… Read More
Welcome to the Water Closet, the most sacred chamber in the celestial plumbing system. This is where the stars gather to flush old grudges, unclog… Read More
“Micro-dosing” has become a cultural self-help technique in recent years. Enthusiasts describe it as consuming a fractional amount of a psychedelic substance so that the… Read More
Local human experiences a total cosmic reckoning and decides the best way to handle it is by taking a picture of their own laundry pile instead of actually doing it.
The sun is currently screaming through the sky, and quite frankly, it is embarrassed to be illuminating your specific life choices today in this cosmic… Read More
Aries You will mistake momentum for wisdom, and volume for leadership. This will not stop you from charging forward like someone who has never been… Read More
Forget your actual future because these amusing horoscopes prove the universe is just a drunk toddler with a Twitter account.
Aries (Mar 21 – Apr 19) Mars is busy binge‑watching reality TV in these amusing horoscopes. Therefore, your usual “charge ahead” vibe will be replaced by an inexplicable urge… Read More
The stars do not care about your tax bracket or your credit rating. They only want to see you fail in a way that is… Read More
It is time to look at the stars again, although they are currently screaming into the void just like the rest of us. Here is… Read More
