horoscopes Archives - Page 8 of 26 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Surreal illustration for Pugbus.org featuring a bewildered pug wearing a wizard hat, sitting atop a cosmic yellow school bus covered in zodiac signs. A massive, floating human hand (the non-dominant hand of the cosmos) holds a quill, awkwardly scratching nonsensical horoscopes onto a scroll. In the foreground, a small gray alien and a winged radish creature stand among dozens of scattered antique keys.

When the universe puts in minimal effort, you get maximum confusion. Just like we intended.

🪐 Non-Dominant Hand Horoscopes 🌙

â™ˆ Aries (March 21 – April 19)Aries, a sentient turnip will send you an important, yet untraceable, email regarding the optimal temperature for artisanal ice… Read More

Surreal mirrored twin figures stirring floating zodiac symbols against a pale background, suggesting horoscope mischief.

Gemini denied everything, which only proved they did it.

Horoscopes

Gemini Commits Horoscope Mischief

philmaggitti horoscopes 9 months

Today at 3:33 a.m. Eastern, Mercury (Gemini’s ruling planet) turned a cartwheel through the 9th House of Meaning, landing squarely on Jupiter’s monocle and committing… Read More

A colorful surreal illustration for horoscope puzzles featuring a floating 3D maze surrounded by bright geometric shapes in red, blue, green, yellow, and orange on a pale background.

The stars outsourced your destiny to a cosmic puzzle department and this is what you get.

Horoscopes

Horoscope Puzzles: Satirical Forecasts You Must Solve Yourself

philmaggitti horoscopes 10 months

The stars have grown tired of making up stuff. They called in sick and left this lesson plan for today. In horoscope puzzles, each sign… Read More

A single-panel, office humor cartoon. The image features a man sitting at a standard office desk. He has grown multiple extra arms, appearing to have six in total, which are all simultaneously operating three different laptops and answering three different ringing phones. He has a stressed expression and is surrounded by piles of paper and documents, visually depicting the office humor concept of being assigned to three impossible projects simultaneously with competing deadlines.

"I asked for a promotion, and they gave me... more arms."

Horoscopes

Corporate Horoscopes: Office Humor

philmaggitti horoscopes 10 months

Presenting your Corporate Horoscopes: Office Humor, revered and reviled transmissions from the cosmos regarding your slow descent into fluorescent-lit madness. Spoiler: the stars do not… Read More

Legacy horoscopes: because vague cosmic geometry is still more reliable than your aunt’s Facebook astrology memes.

Horoscopes

Legacy Horoscopes

philmaggitti horoscopes 10 months

A breathless homage to thosetrite-but-true horoscopes that have been around forever and that tell younothing bur still sound vaguelybelievable. â™ˆ Aries … Today is not… Read More

Your sign is a mess and the stars have receipts.

Horoscopes

The Horoscope Wheel of Cosmic Chaos

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 10 months

â™ˆ Aries: You have been charging forward with the confidence of someone who has never once read the terms and conditions, and honestly, the universe… Read More

Something's rotten in the cosmos.

Horoscopes

Horoscopes Based on William Shakespeare’s Works

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 10 months

In the grand theatre of the cosmos, each sign steps forth as both actor and audience, draped in William Shakespeare’s Works and the symbols of… Read More

Astrology: Finally as confused as you are

Horoscopes

🔮 Your Very Unreliable Astrological Almanac 🤣

T.J. Eckleburg horoscopes 10 months

Aries (March 21 – April 19) Your ruling planet, Mars, has declared a personal emergency, leading it to hide your car keys inside a very… Read More