Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Bagels or toast?

DH

Denise Haversack, 46, municipal ribbon untangler

Allegedly residing at 83 Buttered Cul-de-Sac, Harrisburg, PA

Toast. A bagel makes breakfast feel like a jaw-strengthening exercise sponsored by cream cheese.

PL

Percival Lunt, 62, retired supermarket misting-system consultant

Allegedly found at 211 Pumpernickel Annex, Toledo, OH

Bagels. Toast is just bread that has been frightened into becoming brittle.

CF

Claudia Fennel, 35, freelance waiting-room magazine curator

Allegedly located at 9 Crumbly Outlook Terrace, Madison, WI

Toast. Bagels require slicing, spreading, and commitment. I am trying to keep breakfast emotionally casual.

The Buck-It List 3.0

10 months philmaggitti blog, top ten lists

Welcome to The Buck-It List 3.0. Ten additional things you should stop doing before not going gently into that good night. If you have already ditched green bananas and inside voices (see Buck-It List 2.0), it is time to raise the stakes.

(1) Unsubscribing from emails
Let the spam pile up like snow in a nor’easter. When you die, Gmail will be the only one sending flowers.

(2) Folding fitted sheets
Just wad them up like your life choices. Nobody cares, least of all you. Your are probably too old for side women anyway.

(3) Counting calories
The Grim Reaper is not coming to inquire after your BMI. Order dessert twice, convincingly.

(4) Backing up files
Your grandkids are not going to appreciate a neatly organized external hard drive. Theirs probably isn’t any better organized.

(5) Explaining memes
If someone does not get it, forget it and forget them and their dog, too—Darwin has already made his ruling.

(6) Waiting on hold
If the IRS wants you, they will jolly well find you. Stop listening to Vivaldi on repeat.

(7) Asking for directions
If you end up in Delaware instead of Philly, chalk it up to one of life’s amusing little adventures.

(8) Sorting laundry
Toss the reds in with the whites. Pink socks build character.

(9) Watching movie credits
You are not going to recognize the key grip or the assistant key grip anyway.

(10) Remembering names
Just call everyone “Chief” or “Champ.” You are beyond networking now.

Closing Argument

You do not get extra points for tidiness on the way out. Stop curating, stop moderating, stop folding life into neat little piles. The sooner you embrace the chaos, the lighter your load. Forget it, list it, live it.