Vegan Tampons in the Gents: The National Trust’s Castle of Confusion
Britain, once the globe-spanning empire of cannonballs and Shakespearean insults, now dispenses vegan tampons in at least one men’s bathroom. At Sizergh Castle, the National Trust has installed a box in the gents that reads: “Got a period situation going on? We got you.” Translation: “We’ve transcended biology and now offer plant-based absorbency to all who enter this porcelain temple.”
One elderly Brit reportedly emerged from the loo like a time traveler who had just seen the future and hated it. “I thought I’d walked into a tampon dimension,” he said, “but the urinals were still there, so I peed in defiance.”
Another bewildered visitor echoed this confusion.
“I asked if the tampons were gluten-free. The dispenser called me a bigot,” said the 7th Earl of Lynley
The National Trust, once guardian of castles and cannonballs, now guards the sacred right to bleed in any bathroom, regardless of plumbing or chromosomes. Shakespeare weeps. The Spice Girls remain unbothered.
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