What Would Nietzsche Do?

What Would Nietzsche Do? Coping with Reality (Badly)

A baby curiously touching a man's face while he lies on grass.
All inquiries will be answered eventually, but not helpfully.

Dear Nietzsche, I keep buying planners, habit trackers, and “rise and grind” journals in the hope of coping with reality, but I still procrastinate. Am I broken?
Dear Time-Management Marionette,
You are not broken, you are awake. Procrastination is the final stand of the soul against the tyranny of motivational stationery. Throw away your pastel-colored calendars and pursue something worth delaying.

Dear Nietzsche, I meditate, chant, manifest, micro-dose, and moon-charge crystals. Why do I still feel empty?
Dear Metaphysical Mall Walker,
Because you are building an identity from the clearance shelf of metaphysics. The void cannot be bribed with scented candles. Sit in darkness without accessories.

Dear Nietzsche, I say “sorry” constantly – even to chairs I bump into. How do I stop?
Dear Contrition Vending Machine,
You are apologizing for your existence. Stop immediately. The next time you collide with furniture, blame it for lacking situational awareness.

For more questionable wisdom from the only advice column where your neuroses meet their philosophical match, click What Would Nietzsche Do?

⚠ Satire rules here. If you are looking for facts, bring your own. If you are looking for spiritual, economic, or moral counseling, try prayer. Just do not bring any lawyers around this entertainment-only venue.

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