What Would Nietzsche Do? Since God Is Dead

Advice for truth seekers now that God is dead and Nietzsche is taking your letters.
Q: Dear Nietzsche,
I have been at the same job for twelve years and feel invisible. Everyone younger gets promoted. Should I reinvent myself or just accept my fate?
A: Dear Cog in the Machine,
Do not reinventâtranscend. The office is a monastery for those who pray to PowerPoint. Leave your cubicle as Zarathustra left his cave: laughing. Carry your resignation letter like a holy text. Your fate is not acceptance; it is escape.
Q: Dear Nietzsche,
I keep dating people who are emotionally unavailable. My friends say I “attract the wrong energy.” Is this true?
A: Dear Seeker of Broken Souls,
You do not attract the wrong energy; you manufacture it. You confuse intensity with depth, collapse with connection. Stop worshiping the cliff’s edge as romance. Love is not the abyss. It is the laughter echoing over it.
Q: Dear Nietzsche,
I am overwhelmed by the news. Every headline makes me want to crawl under the bed and suck my thumb. How do I stay informed without losing hope?
A: Dear Thumb Sucker,
Hope is the opium of the passive. Take your thumb out of your mouth, unplug your empathy machine, and walk outside. The world is chaos, but so are you. Revel in the symmetry. Read poetry, not pundits. The universe will burn with or without your awareness; at least choose your soundtrack.
For more questionable wisdom from the only advice column where your neuroses meet their philosophical match, click What Would Nietzsche Do?
â ïž Satire rules here. If you are looking for facts, bring your own. If you are looking for spiritual, economic, or moral counseling, try prayer. Just do not bring any lawyers around this entertainment-only venue.

