Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day
Join the annual ritual of resistance with Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day–a satirical celebration for fans who have had enough of sermons, scandals, race baiters, virtue-signalling fools, and HR drama. This is your well-deserved holy day to boycott those clowns and rediscover sports without the scold and without the sound if necessary.
Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day was born the moment ESPN stopped covering sports and started hosting HR seminars. Box scores gave way to brand statements, and every segment felt like a teachable moment nobody asked for.
The rap sheet is long. Curt Schilling got canned in 2016 for posting a meme about bathroom bills. ESPN called it “unacceptable.” Viewers called it “Tuesday.” Jemele Hill called Trump a white supremacist, urged advertiser boycotts, and got a two-week timeout. Rachel Nichols got booted after a leaked call revealed ESPN’s diversity panic. Maria Taylor got promoted, then peaced out to NBC. Viewers got a soap opera instead of basketball.
Sage Steele was sidelined for vaccine comments. Lia Thomas was featured in a Women’s History Month segment, prompting backlash from actual women. ESPN tried to flirt with Barstool in 2017, aired one episode, then ghosted them harder than a Tinder date who finds out you work in HR.
Dan Le Batard spent a decade testing ESPN’s patience: handing his Hall of Fame vote to Deadspin, mocking LeBron on billboards, calling ESPN’s politics policy “cowardly,” and airing old Trump interviews as a holiday special. He eventually left, presumably to start a podcast called “I Told You So.”
Bomani Jones was force-fed to viewers in every format imaginable–radio, TV, podcasts, probably janitorial duty. His show High Noon lasted about as long as a ripe banana. ESPN finally admitted defeat when even liberal media critics stopped pretending to watch.
How to Celebrate:
Watch literally anything else: pickleball, Korean baseball, Nebraska weather radar.
Rank donut shops. Judge gas station bathrooms.
Watch ten seconds of a game on mute. Remember joy.
The record-holder for Boycott ESPN Day is Darrell “Mute Button” Franklin of Des Moines. He hasn’t watched since 2009 and reports lowered blood pressure and improved box score enjoyment.
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