Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day
Join the annual ritual of resistance with Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day–a satirical celebration for fans who have had enough of sermons, scandals, race baiters, virtue-signalling fools, and HR drama. This is your well-deserved holy day to boycott those clowns and rediscover sports without the scold and without the sound if necessary.
Book of Daze: Boycott ESPN Day was born the moment ESPN stopped covering sports and started hosting HR seminars. Box scores gave way to brand statements, and every segment felt like a teachable moment nobody asked for.
The rap sheet is long. Curt Schilling got canned in 2016 for posting a meme about bathroom bills. ESPN called it “unacceptable.” Viewers called it “Tuesday.” Jemele Hill called Trump a white supremacist, urged advertiser boycotts, and got a two-week timeout. Rachel Nichols got booted after a leaked call revealed ESPN’s diversity panic. Maria Taylor got promoted, then peaced out to NBC. Viewers got a soap opera instead of basketball.
Sage Steele was sidelined for vaccine comments. Lia Thomas was featured in a Women’s History Month segment, prompting backlash from actual women. ESPN tried to flirt with Barstool in 2017, aired one episode, then ghosted them harder than a Tinder date who finds out you work in HR.
Dan Le Batard spent a decade testing ESPN’s patience: handing his Hall of Fame vote to Deadspin, mocking LeBron on billboards, calling ESPN’s politics policy “cowardly,” and airing old Trump interviews as a holiday special. He eventually left, presumably to start a podcast called “I Told You So.”
Bomani Jones was force-fed to viewers in every format imaginable–radio, TV, podcasts, probably janitorial duty. His show High Noon lasted about as long as a ripe banana. ESPN finally admitted defeat when even liberal media critics stopped pretending to watch.
How to Celebrate:
Watch literally anything else: pickleball, Korean baseball, Nebraska weather radar.
Rank donut shops. Judge gas station bathrooms.
Watch ten seconds of a game on mute. Remember joy.
The record-holder for Boycott ESPN Day is Darrell “Mute Button” Franklin of Des Moines. He hasn’t watched since 2009 and reports lowered blood pressure and improved box score enjoyment.
*For additional Book of Daze entries that celebrate other days that ought not to exist either.*
⚠️ Satire rules here. If you are looking for facts, bring your own. If you are looking for spiritual, economic, or moral counseling, try prayer. Just do not bring any lawyers around this entertainment-only venue.