President Bush Says Troop Callup Not Backdoor Draft
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush told reporters yesterday that his plans to call up selected units of the Salvation Army in order to… Read More
Author: Biff Scuzzy
Bush Declares Victory Over Saddam Hussein’s Hunger Strike
WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following a visit to church yesterday, President Bush declared victory over Saddam Hussein’s seventeen-day hunger strike. The determined-looking president said that Mr.… Read More
Jessica Simpson Launches Book-of-the-Year Club
LOS ANGELES – Jessica Simpson believes Oprah’s Book Club puts too much pressure on its members. In a recent Maxim interview Ms. Simpson declared, “People who lead… Read More
Wie Woeful but Still Confident in John Deere
SILVIS, Ill. – Once again Michelle Wie failed in her quest to become the first woman golfer since 1945 to use the men’s shower facilities… Read More
Charlie Sheen Top Ten Signs You Ate Magic Mushrooms
Charlie Sheen has voiced a cautionary note about the use of magic mushrooms to combat depression, anxiety, and drug dependence. In spite of positive reports… Read More
JonBenet Ramsey Death a Suicide, Said Late Mother
MARIETTA, Ga. – The death of former beauty queen JonBenet Ramsey has been called a suicide by her mother, Patsy, who died of ovarian cancer… Read More
JJ Redick, Ben Roethlisberger Did It to Impress Paris Hilton
DURHAM, N.C. – Sports fans have been wrestling with a pair of troublesome questions this week: Why would former Duke basketball star JJ Redick get… Read More
President Bush Issues Memorial Day Cell Phone Virus Alert
WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush has warned Americans that the Memorial Day cell phone virus, the most virulent in-the-wild mobile phone virus yet discovered in… Read More