philmaggitti, Author at Postcards from The Pug Bus

A rumpled man in a bathrobe sniffs a questionable tub of yogurt in front of an open refrigerator while his Labrador waits expectantly below, a humorous scene for Book of Daze: Ignore the Expiration Date.

He calls it a taste-test. The Labrador calls it dinner.

Book of Daze: Ignore the Expiration Date

We imagine that Ignore the Expiration Date was born in the 1970s when big grocery chains in the United States and the U.K. introduced “open… Read More

When your horoscope says “look to the stars” and you take it way too literally.

Horoscopes

Your Daily Unhinged Horoscopes

philmaggitti horoscopes 1 year

(Ahoy. The stars are drunk, the moon is in a mood, and the cosmos just texted “lol good luck.” Let us dive into your unhinged… Read More

A surreal humorous illustration of a tabby cat’s brain chemistry at work — the cat in a tiny white lab coat and goggles perched on a woman’s head, holding a glowing pink oxytocin flask with sparkling mist and floating molecular bubbles swirling around them against a whimsical painterly background

“Behold… one more tweak to the human’s brain chemistry and she will order the deluxe Tesla scratching post.”

News

Your Brain Is No Match for a Cat’s Brain Chemistry

philmaggitti news 1 year

Somewhere deep inside every cat’s brain chemistry lurks a tiny lab-coated villain with a spray bottle of oxytocin and a pitch-black sense of humor, forever… Read More

Excuse exchange day oil-painting-of an indoor market scene lit by golden chiaroscuro: a bearded merchant in 17th-century garb weighs a scroll labeled “Car Would Not Start” on a brass balance while a feather-hatted lady examines a glass-domed excuse marked “Bridge Was Up”; nearby jars display “Wi-Fi Died,” a young boy rummages in a wicker basket of discarded excuses, and a greyhound dozes at their feet beneath rustic wooden beams.

The wages of sin paid in excuses.

Book of Daze

Book of Daze: Pre-Owned Excuse Exchange Day

philmaggitti bookof-daze 1 year

Human beings, like parrots and hand-me-down sweaters, thrive on recycling. Why keep inventing brand-new alibis when the planet is choking on perfectly serviceable old ones?… Read More

A cartoon-style illustration of a flushed, disheveled man clinging to a glowing lamppost under a starry night sky, visibly drunk with a wine glass in hand and bubbles floating above his head. His tie is askew, his eyes half-closed, and his posture slumped, suggesting cosmic inebriation. The lamppost casts warm light on cobblestones below, while distant stars twinkle in quiet judgment. The scene evokes a whimsical yet chaotic mood—a true celestial nightmare.

"I seen 'em do dis on TV."

Horoscopes

Horoscopes on the Rocks: A Celestial Nightmare

philmaggitti horoscopes 1 year

(Ohhh, hiccup, the cosmosh ish sloshed. The zzzodiac’sh been sippin’ Nebula Noir and now they’re hiccup burpin’ propheciesh into their goblets. Prepare for a celestial… Read More

Supreme Court ruling depicts Justices seated on a floating bench in a cosmic void, each depicted in absurd styles including emoji-headed figures, TikTok duets, Schrödinger’s cat, and algorithmic bailiffs, with a scroll reading “Reality: Subjective, But Binding.”

The Supreme Court floats above the void, issuing emoji verdicts and TikTok dissents while Schrödinger’s cat takes the stand.

News

Supreme Court Ruling Declares Reality Is “Subjective, but Binding”

philmaggitti news 1 year

In a landmark decision that will echo through the marble halls of jurisprudence and the comment sections of YouTube, a Supreme Court Ruling has determined… Read More