Politics Archives - Page 5 of 6 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

Politics

President Bush Sending Jehovah’s Witnesses to Patrol Border

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President Bush said last night that he will deploy 8,000 Spanish-speaking Jehovah’s Witnesses to the Mexican border to help stop the flow… Read More

Politics

Bush, Verizon Team Up to Sell NSA Telephone Spying Program

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush will announce during his weekly radio address today that he is taking the place of Paul Marcarelli, the… Read More

Politics

President Bush Says America Dreamz Sends the Wrong Message

Chip Hilton 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Following a private White House screening of American Dreamz, President George W. Bush told reporters that the comedy, which stars Dennis Quaid as… Read More

Politics

Bush to Assume Presidency in Continuing White House Shakeup

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – Left high and dry by declining poll numbers and eroding public confidence, George W. Bush continues his shakeup of the White House… Read More

Culture Politics

Republicans Riot over Brokeback Mountain Parody

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A parody of the controversial movie Brokeback Mountain that depicts President George W. Bush and former lobbyist Jack Abramoff as lovers has ignited rioting… Read More

Politics Pug Bus Pop Quiz

George W. Bush Photo Quiz Redux

Biff Scuzzy 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – A recently published photo of President George W. Bush has Washington insiders wagging their heads and shaking their tongues in agitated speculation.… Read More

Celebrity Shockers Politics

George Bush Calls George Michael a Terrorist, George Clooney Objects

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush wasted no time in reacting to pop star George Michael’s arrest on drug charges this weekend. Mr. Bush… Read More

Politics

President Bush Claims Spy Program Foiled Grammy Plot

philmaggitti 20 years

WASHINGTON – President George W. Bush told reporters yesterday that “a top-secret domestic spying program” had foiled a plot to disrupt Wednesday’s Grammy Awards ceremony.… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.