Religion Archives - Page 2 of 9 - Postcards from The Pug Bus

Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Heartbreaker or heartbroken?

Gert Lampley, retired apology archivist

Currently avoiding Dayton, OH

Heartbroken. Heartbreak gives a person depth, posture problems, and one drawer full of things that should have been thrown away during the Clinton administration. Heartbreak is not pleasant, but at least it comes with receipts.

Vance Cribble, certified exit strategist

Last seen near a bus station in Reno, NV

Heartbreaker. Not proudly, but efficiently. Some people end relationships with long talks and herbal tea. I prefer a clean emotional incision, followed by relocation and a new email address no one deserves.

Shonda Leek, municipal tenderness inspector

Allegedly stationed outside Utica, NY

Both, obviously. First you break someone’s heart by being honest, then your own breaks because honesty turns out to be less freeing than advertised. Love is just a minor clerical error with candles.

book cover of a book comparing the historical Jesus and the theological Jesus

"St. Paul was the world's first influencer."

Religion

Will the Real Jesus Please Stand Up?

philmaggitti religion 10 months

âï¸ Somewhere between the Sea of Galilee and the Pauline Epistles, Jesus of Nazareth underwent a dramatic rebrand. The barefoot rabbi who preached in parables… Read More

"I can see Jerusalem from here."

Religion

Jesus Puts the Population of Heaven at About 150

philmaggitti religion 3 years

The civilized world was staggered yesterday by Jesus’ off-hand remark that there are roughly 150 people in heaven. That’s 1-to-the-5-plus-0 people. Period. Fewer people than… Read More

Religion

Saint Dymphna Patron Saint of Home Schooling and West Virginia

philmaggitti religion 3 years

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Imagine you are a fourteen-year-old girl and you discover that your father wants to hook up with you because you resemble your late… Read More

Religion

Did God Write Other Books Besides The Bible?

philmaggitti religion 4 years

WEST CHESTER, Pa.–Like J.K. Rowling, who has not stopped writing since finishing the Harry Potter series, God may not have stopped writing after finishing The Bible,… Read More

Religion

St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast Reductions

philmaggitti religion 5 years

The following iece is religious satire; no saints, bridges, or bosoms were harmed in the making of this miracle. St. Theneva, Patron Saint of Breast… Read More

Illustration of a man in a red jacket with sunglasses and a pen.

Serving shorthand looks before it was cool.

Religion

OMG There’s a Patron Saint of Shorthand ISYN

philmaggitti religion 7 years

If you’re STD (sick to death) of people who splatter their “writing” with SFS (stupid flipping shorthand), you can thank Saint Cassian of Imola, the… Read More

Religion Sporting Life

God Drops Carson Wentz from Fantasy Team

philmaggitti football, religion 7 years

WILMINGTON, De.–The Lord God Almighty is more than a little miffed by Carson Wentz’ three-pick performance in the Eagles 48-7 loss to the New Orleans… Read More

Religion

God Throws Shade on Rainbow Bridge Myth

philmaggitti dog, religion, trump 9 years

HEAVEN – Pet owners took one in the shorts today when The Lord God Almighty issued a press release in which He questioned the existence… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly disguised as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval.

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

Read It All

There is a moment, just before sleep,
when the mind loosens its tie
and admits what it spent all day denying.

You remember the thing you said—
not the words,
but the angle of them,
how they leaned slightly wrong
and stayed there.

A life is not ruined in grand gestures.
It goes soft at the edges first.
Corners round off. Standards blur.
You start calling things “fine”
that would have once kept you awake.

Which is the problem.

Because now you do sleep.

Beautifully. Efficiently.
Like someone who has made a series of
very small, very reasonable surrenders
and arranged them into a pillow.