God Throws Shade on Rainbow Bridge Myth
HEAVEN – Pet owners took one in the shorts today when The Lord God Almighty issued a press release in which He questioned the existence… Read More
Religion
Skewering invisible friends in the sky–angels, hosts, seraphim, cherubim, and figments of fevered imaginations get equal treatment here. We do not believe, but we are absolutely fascinated by people who pretend they do.
Facebook Presents the Twelve Genders of Christmas
Facebook is a festering boil on the right (butt) cheek of humanity, largely because Facebook co-founder Mark Zuckerberg is a sushi-loving disco boy who squats… Read More
God Says He Never Saw This Election Coming
The Lord God Almighty—King of Kings, Giver of All Gifts, Father of All Fathers, and Keeper of the Most Holy Restroom Key—admitted today that he… Read More
The Nativity Story Is a Pious, Stinking, Goddamn Fraud
Many Christians, especially those who think it their constitutional right to set up a stlly crèche on the courthouse lawn once a year, believe that… Read More
Fabian, Patron Saint of Dove Fanciers
WEST GOSHEN, Pa.—Fabian d’Fabiano, whose name literally means “Fabian, Son of the Son of Fabian,“ was a poor excuse for an olive farmer, who lived… Read More
Yesterday’s Saint, Pope Callistus I, The Tell-All Biography
Suppose that Mitt Romney, after losing the 2012 Presidential Election to Barack Obama, somehow manipulated his way into writing not only the official biography of… Read More
What Did Pope Francis Know and When Did He Know I
WASHINGTON, D.C.—Since finding out last week that Pope Francis, “the cool pope,” had met secretly with Kim Davis in Washington, D.C., on September 24, a… Read More
If your mother will not tell you that your hydration levels are a failure, these high-definition toilet cams certainly will.
When Francis Met Kim
WASHINGTON, D.C.—His Supreme Excellency Pope Francis—in addition to meeting with the Harlem Globe Trotters, Vice-President “Meadowlark” Biden (who presented him with a photo of Mr.… Read More