Religion

NEW YORK – Oscar-winning director James Cameron believes that inscriptions on the tombs of the J.H. Christ family “should settle once and for all” any lingering questions about Jesus’ sexuality.

Mr. Cameron is the producer … Read on

HEAVEN – Windows Vista, Microsoft’s controversial new operating system, has incurred the wrath of God. The Supreme Power User, operating through his purchasing agent, the Holy Spirit, was one of the first to buy Vista … Read on

LOS ANGELES – Rocky Balboa climbing off the canvas. Jesus Christ climbing out of the tomb. Mere similarities with no causal connection? Not according to Sylvester Stallone, who told Christian leaders in a conference call … Read on

ATLANTA – In addition to the usual security problems, the Microsoft corporation’s latest operating system, Windows Vista, has some patching to do with special interest groups. The groups’ complaints arose after the latest Vista pep … Read on

NASSAU, Bahamas – The Lord God Almighty denied playing any role in the recent commitment ceremony between former stripper Anna Nicole Smith and her boyfriend-attorney, Howard K. Stern.

The ceremony—which took place “before God,” according … Read on

NEW YORK – The Lord God Almighty declared yesterday that He is “damn sick and tired of hearing about that whole mess between Israel and Hezbollah.” God made this revelation in a sternly worded e-mail … Read on

COLUMBUS, Ohio – The leadership of the American Association of Gay and Lesbian Bishops (AAGLB) resorted to eleventh-hour lobbying in an attempt to save its membership in the International Synod of Gay Clergy (ISGC). During … Read on

OPP, Ala. – Explaining that he was “tired of saying yes to every loser with his you-know-what in a wringer,” the Lord God Jesus Christ announced yesterday that he would enter fewer hearts this year.… Read on

ROME – This time last year the late Pope John Paul II appeared to be on the fast track to sainthood. Reports of two miracles alleged to have occurred at the pontiff’s tomb had Catholics … Read on

HEAVEN – Those who know him say Jesus Christ is distraught over the cancellation of NBC’s controversial religious drama The Book of Daniel, which was pulled after four of its scheduled eight episodes had … Read on

NEW ORLEANS – New Orleans mayor, Ray Nagin, assured the people of the United States that God had accepted his apology. Mayor Nagin, the latest in a long line of political and religious figures who … Read on

KINGDOM OF HEAVEN – The Lord God Jesus Christ is “sore displeased” with the Disney Corporation. Through a special arrangement with Google, Jesus issued via Gmail a simultaneous statement to 4,500 news sources around the … Read on

VIRGINIA BEACH, Vir. – Calling the shooting deaths of Michael and Cathryn Borden “the home schooling movement’s very own Columbine,” televangelist Pat Robertson urged parents who home school their children to install metal detectors in … Read on

HAMPTON ROADS, Vir. – Televangelist Pat Robertson says the United States is wasting precious resources on diets that don’t work and “needs to consider other alternatives” in combating obesity.

Speaking on his Christian news-talk television … Read on