(A Cautionary Love Story) You swore it was just a casual thing. A little late-night toke here, a lazy afternoon session there. Now it’s whispering your name at 10 a.m., demanding bubble baths and emotional exclusivity. At first, it was perfect. No judgment, no talking during movies. You gave it… Read More
(Because not every high point is marked on a map.) Some places just feel stony. Maybe it’s the drum circle that’s been going since 1997. Maybe it’s the smell wafting from that vintage store called “Grandma’s Third Eye.” Maybe it’s the guy selling “local honey” out of a van that… Read More
(Because sometimes “elevated consciousness” means not throat-punching your cousin.) Family gatherings, a cherished tradition where you eat beige food, answer the same three questions about your life, and try not to get into a passive-aggressive slap fight with someone who still thinks COVID was caused by wind turbines. Fear not,… Read More
The third eye—let’s call it E3, because enlightenment sounds cooler if it sounds like a software update—has long been revered as the gateway to divine insight. Located just above and between the eyebrows (right where your sunglasses refuse to stay put), it’s said to be linked to the pineal gland… Read More
In states where marijuana is legal, some lawmakers are flirting with the idea of capping THC levels, claiming this is necessary for “public health” or “clarity of mind.” Naturally, this has ruffled dream catchers in the tie-dyed community. Five members of that community, who believe such legislation would threaten not… Read More
WEST CHESTER, PA–The average American pick-up truck has gained 1,142 pounds since 1990. The average American, about the same. The average Phish tune, in concert, added nearly two minutes around its middle, and personal pizzas got 25 percent larger. Go big or go home: The 11th Commandment writ large. During the last several years, CBD… Read More
NEW YORK—High Times magazine estimates that 98 percent of all marijuana strains ever created have gone extinct, and more strains face the danger of extinction each day. Bedhead OG? Available in the northernmost parts of Minnesota, if you’re lucky. Pwr Bttm? Began to disappear right around the time the band… Read More
If Nietzsche were alive today, he would have to declare, “Pott ist tot.” Pot is dead. In Nietzsche’s time, as in ours, these sorts of uber deaths occur long before most people notice. Indeed, there are still worshipers who attend church on Sunday even though god has been dead an… Read More
WASHINGTON – The American Association of Retired Persons (AARP) will sponsor a smoke-in to promote the group’s campaign to legalize marijuana. The weekend event, called the Great American Pot Luck Festival, will be held at Daytona International Speedway in Florida, July 8-10. Sponsors include Grecian Formula, Cialis, Fixodent, Beano, Depends,… Read More
ST. MARTINVILLE, La. – Willie Nelson avoided jail when the policeman who had cited him for possession of marijuana and hallucinogenic mushrooms last September 18 told a judge yesterday that he “had no recollection” of the incident. “Yer honor, I cain’t say as I ever seen this man before,” said… Read More
WASHINGTON, D.C. – A nationwide series of Bong Hits 4 Jesus rallies, sponsored by the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws (NORML), kicks off at 4:20 p.m. this Saturday in Boston, New York City, Philadelphia, and Washington, D.C. The rallies are designed to focus public attention on the… Read More
CAMDEN, N.J. – Several Farm Aid performers exhibited symptoms of extreme dizziness and incoherence during the eleven-hour fund raising concert at the Tweeter Centre yesterday. At first concert promoters feared the worst, an outbreak of food poisoning from the organic food VIP tent. “That would have screwed the pooch big… Read More
