Irregular Horoscopes — July 2, 2025
The only stars we consult are washed-up former child actors. Cancer (June 21–July 22) Someone will call you “emotionally intense.” That’s code for “please stop… Read More
Lifting a satirical leg on pop culture since 2004
The only stars we consult are washed-up former child actors. Cancer (June 21–July 22) Someone will call you “emotionally intense.” That’s code for “please stop… Read More
You’ve found yourself Googling, “Does my dog love me or is he just manipulating me for liver treats?” Welcome to the parasocial ecosystem of modern… Read More
The following list was compiled by someone who is already being monitored for saying “Bless you” in public. Picnic–The quaint, sometimes romantic, outdoor meal with… Read More
A Reverse Quantum Horoscope, wherein your future is determined by the mistakes made by dead people with whom you share a sign. Leo (7/23 –… Read More
Welcome to the ultimate Tay-Tay gauntlet – a glitter-soaked, heartbreak-fueled, cat-adjacent test of your Swiftie knowledge, where lyrical lore meets parasocial fever dreams. This isn’t… Read More
There comes a time in every icon’s life when she ought to pause, take stock, and ask the big question: Have I become too fabulous… Read More
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There is one difference between a long life & a great dinner; in the dinner, the sweet things come last.”
(Audrey Hepburn)
Each evening, Margaret set two plates for dinner–one for her, one for the silence. The chair across remained empty, untouched since Henry’s passing. She spoke… Read More
Looking for some celestial horoscopes? We put the hell in hellacious. Today the stars align according to whatever infernal earworm tortured you yesterday. Accuracy not… Read More