postcards from the pug bus

postcards from the pug bus

lifting a leg on popular culture since 2004

. . . . . Only Jesus pardons more than Joe Biden . . . . . "The truth is hate to those who hate the truth." (Stormfront) . . . . . too many presenters on YouTube have faces made for radio . . . . . "Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” (Eleanor Roosevelt) . . . . . a level playing field lifts no boats . . . . . the best arguments against reincarnation are first grade and first wives . . . . . familiarity breeds . . . . . whether you think you can or you can't, you're right . . . . . song stuck in local man's head wants out . . . . . the unexamined life is not worth examining . . . . . well begun is, well, begun . . . . . if it's statistically impossible, it's impossible . . . . . no one gives a shit about your pronouns . . . . . as one gets old, old times' sake is the only sake left . . . . . less is more only if more is out to lunch . . . . .
News

New Sex Drug Stops Premature Ejaculation in Its Tracks

philmaggitti 483 Views 5 min read

ST. PAUL, Minn. – A report in the British medical journal The Lancet contains good news for men who suffer from the thrill of sexual excitement but the agony of premature ejaculation. In a study conducted at the University of Minnesota, a new drug called dapoxetine stoped premature ejaculation in its tracks. Dapoxetine is made from the Read More

Culture

Katie Couric Sign-off Contest Finalists Announced

Chip Hilton 482 Views 2 min read

NEW YORK – Katie Couric, the first solo evening news anchor who’s ever had a colonoscopy on live television, admitted on her initial broadcast, Tuesday, that she was SOL for a clever sign-off line. Ms. Couric, also the first solo evening news anchor who’s ever had a mammogram on live television, has vowed to give Read More

News

Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin Rumors Flood Internet

Biff Scuzzy 459 Views 3 min read

CAIRNS, Australia – The recent death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin has occasioned a flood of rumors the likes of which have not been seen on the Internet since the death of Princess Diana, an event to which the passing of Mr. Irwin has been likened. Not even tales of Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie’s Read More

Celebrities

Suri Cruise Photos Expected to Fuel Stock Market Rally

T.J. Eckleburg 521 Views 3 min read

NEW YORK – The publication of the first pictures of Suri Cruise should drive many stock prices higher, financial analysts predict. The long-anticipated images, featured in an exclusive twenty-two-page spread in the October issue of Vanity Fair, hit newsstands in New York and Los Angeles today and in other markets next Tuesday. Some of the photos Read More

News

Steve Irwin Crocodile Hunter Death Tops Stingray News

philmaggitti 479 Views 2 min read

BRISBANE, Australia – The death of Crocodile Hunter Steve Irwin has left the stingray world scrambling to effect damage control. Mr. Irwin, 44, died today after being stung by a bull ray on the Great Barrier Reef in northeastern Queensland state. He and several members of his film crew were stingray gigging. “We’re just devastated,” Read More

Sporting Life

Mark Wahlberg Unconvincing as Vince Papale

philmaggitti 405 Views 2 min read

PHILADELPHIA – The only time Invincible captures Vince Papale is when the credits start to roll and clips of the real Vince, with his dark, shaggy hair, swarthy complexion, killer teeth, and 50,000-megawatt Joe Namath smile, fill the screen. If you were in a hurry to get out of the theater, you missed it. Too bad. It Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Demoted to Dwarf Object Status by IAU

philmaggitti 438 Views 2 min read

PRAGUE – The International Astronomical Union (IAU) adopted a resolution Thursday that effectively strips Tom Cruise of his status as a Hollywood planet. The controversial resolution was adopted after an initial proposal to add three new planets to the Hollywood solar system—Pamela Anderson, Mr. Cruise’ moon Jamie Fox, and the distant world known as Robert Read More

Politics

President Bush Says Troop Callup Not Backdoor Draft

Biff Scuzzy 488 Views 3 min read

WASHINGTON, D.C. – President George W. Bush told reporters yesterday that his plans to call up selected units of the Salvation Army in order to boost troop levels in Iraq and Afghanistan did not amount to a backdoor draft. In response to a question from CNN’s Wolf Blitzer, the president declared, “How can this be Read More

Celebrities

Tom Cruise Dumped by Paramount Because of Annoying Laugh

Chip Hilton 426 Views 2 min read

LOS ANGELES – Paramount Pictures has ended its fourteen-year relationship with Tom Cruise and his production company, El-Ron Universal, because of Mr. Cruise’ annoying laugh. The move was announced yesterday by the chairman of Viacom, the company that owns Paramount. “A much as we like Tom personally,” said Viacom chairman, Sumner Redstone, “his goddamn laugh Read More

News

Ford Plans to Recall 24,000 SUV Drivers

philmaggitti 469 Views 3 min read

DETROIT – Concerned about the increasing rate of “irresponsible, negligent, and thoughtless behavior” exhibited by SUV drivers, not to mention escalating gasoline prices, Ford announced today that it is recalling 24,000 owners of its Ford Expedition and Lincoln Navigator series in the first of a planned schedule of recalls. “We have notified these persons by Read More

News

JonBenet Ramsey Suspect Confesses to Natalee Holloway Murder

philmaggitti 455 Views 3 min read

BANGKOK – John Mark Karr, who rocketed from shadowy insignificance to worldwide infamy on Wednesday by confessing to the murder of JonBenet Ramsey, has now fingered himself in the disappearance of Natalee Holloway. The forty-one-year-old school teacher made his second blockbuster confession in two days yesterday. “I was in love with Natalee Holloway,” said Mr. Read More