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Postcards from The Pug Bus

Lifting a satirical leg on popular culture

Persons in the Ether

Question of the Week

Passion or stability?

MD

Mavis Drouk, emotional escrow officer

Believed to be near Harrisburg, PA

Stability. Passion is what people choose when they still believe a staircase can be made entirely of sparks. Stability may not sing outside your window, but it does remember where the insurance cards are.

RC

Rufus Clenn, freelance thunder consultant

Last reported west of Tulsa, OK

Passion, obviously. Stability is just boredom wearing shoes with arch support. I want life to arrive late, smell faintly of lightning, and explain nothing until several lamps have been broken.

NV

Nora Vell, deputy curator of small regrets

Possibly sheltering in Eugene, OR

Passion is useful for beginnings, stability for the paperwork afterward. I prefer both in moderation, which is another way of saying I would like to be ruined briefly and then driven home safely.

A man trying to grill a watermelon that has caught on fire,

"Flambe, my ass."

Irregular Horoscopes for August 25, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

(The stars are drunk on melted popsicles and the scent of inflatable pool vinyl. The constellations have shed their dignity like a sun-burnt tourist shedding… Read More

A bird about to attack a traffic cone.

"Wait, you're not a bird."

Your Daily Irregular Horoscope for August 24, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

Today the cosmos decided that astrology was boring and subcontracted your fate to the Audubon Society. Your zodiac sign has been yoked to a bird,… Read More

A trellis overgrown with honeysuckle.

"You be my honeysuckle, I'll be your bee."

🌸 Flower Power Horoscopes for August 23, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

Tall, radiant, and always facing (hogging) the spotlight. You’re photosynthesizing applause. Today your ego will bloom like a roadside attraction–visible from space. Just remember: even sunflowers bow at dusk. Humility is your compost.

Lady Gaga's face on a huge disco ball.

"I was born this way."

Anagram Weird Horoscopes for August 22, 2025

philmaggitti Britney Spears, horoscopes 8 months

Astrology has always claimed to be the marriage of mathematics and mysticism, but today it has brought a guest to the honeymoon suite: the anagram. By… Read More

cartoon image of a crab

"Wish I could walk straight."

Leftover Horoscopes for August 21, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

(Horoscopes presented with the reverence of a bored deity and the flair of a lounge singer who moonlights as a chaos therapist.) ðŸª© Leo (July… Read More

A red tabby and white cat perched on a toilet seat drinking out of the toilet.

"Ugghhh, who forgot to flush?"

Inaccurate Pet Horoscopes for August 20, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

(ðŸ¾ The stars are barking, meowing, hissing, shedding again, and not entirely house trained.) ðŸ¦ Leo Pet (July 23 – August 22) The number 7.3… Read More

A man in a hat offering someone a blue velvet bag.

"Am I live or am I ChatGPT?"

Irresponsible Horoscopes for August 19, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

â™Œ Leo (Jul 23 – Aug 22) You will be haunted by the ghost of a decision you nearly made last year. It wears a… Read More

a man caught between a moose head and a mirror

"Mirror, mirror on the wall'"

Irrepressible Horoscopes for August 18, 2025

philmaggitti horoscopes 8 months

(The stars are drunk on nostalgia, the moon is wearing a bathrobe, and Mercury has joined a ska band.) â™Œ Leo (July 23 – August… Read More

The Pug Bus Breaking News

The Pug Bus Breaking News requires no email address, no mother's maiden name, no first pet's nickname, and no DNA sample. You simply mash the link below and read.

Deliver It

⚡ Scholars at the Royal Institute for the Advancement of Obvious Things have concluded, after eleven years of exhaustive inquiry, that people who speak at great length in meetings do not thereby become more correct. The findings have been submitted to a committee for review.

⚡ It has been determined by authorities in several jurisdictions that the phrase "I just want to be honest with you" reliably precedes the portion of the conversation one would most prefer not to have. Legislation is pending.

⚡ The Bureau of Perpetual Reassessment has announced that this is not, in fact, the most divided the nation has ever been, a distinction that continues to belong to a prior era when the disagreements concerned rather more consequential matters and people occasionally died over them.

Adverse Effects

The following lines of prose cleverly arranged as poetry may induce brief clarity, misplaced certainty, and the sense that something has already been decided without your approval ...

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

Read It All

By seventy you know which doors you walked past without opening,
can name the rooms you never entered,
hear the echoes anyway.

The years do not accuse.
They simply pile up like newspapers you meant to read,
each one carrying news that is no longer news.

You think: I should have said that differently.
I should have stayed. I should have gone.
The mind is efficient this way,
filing the same cases under the same wrong headings,
finding them again at 3 a.m. in perfect order.

What surprises is not the weight of it
but the patience —
how regret waits,
how it has nowhere else to be,
how it sits across from you at breakfast
and asks for nothing,
knowing you will offer it everything
on your own.

The body slows.
The catalog does not.
You carry the unlived lives
the way old houses carry
the smell of people who are gone —
not haunting exactly,
just present,
just there,
just refusing
the simple courtesy
of leaving.